


For my bones have found a place

by rainberryfae



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Actor Louis Tomlinson, Alpha Harry, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Future Mpreg bc Louis makes gorgeous babies, Louis calls Harry's pup Samwich, Louis wears Dakota Johnson's outfits, M/M, Non-Famous Harry, Omega Louis, Single Parent Harry Styles, ain't a kid fic but there's kids?, but he ain't calling them fearless or defenceless in this one, sue me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:00:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26977006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainberryfae/pseuds/rainberryfae
Summary: Where retired Hollywood star Louis Tomlinson meets single parent Harry who has had the biggest crush on him since forever.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 51
Kudos: 257





	1. Magenta Dots

The rough yet muffled sound of the waves hungrily kissing the shore had become a lullaby since the last time he was conscious. It was the sea with it’s shapeless and wild form, the only thing that could bring any peace to his haunted mind.

Lazy fingers begin to rub eyes, attempting to dissipate the timeless foam where he lies with a bruised forehead against the window. Later, Louis would look at himself in the mirror and get upset over the bags under his eyes.

His yawns are quiet as he tiredly gains consciousness of the state of things; he has fallen asleep again on the seats by the glass windows, bundled up in the tiny worn blanket with messily stitched patches all over, drowning in the grey sweater which definitely smells like it needs a laundry trip.

The omega looks out the window, laying his head back on the glass with a mediocre wince while a tiny thought crosses his mind: a question to himself regarding the last time he ate, bathed, or even peed. Soon, the longing for the seawater steals the spotlight from any other thought, his mind venturing into the idea of letting the water fill his lungs and choke him, making him unconscious, pliant, before devouring his body.

Louis can’t think of the last time existing didn’t feel as exhausting as it does now.

When he finally dares to move by stretching his feet out of the curled position, he becomes conscious of all the bones and joints reprimanding him with a horrible aching. Dehydrated tongue tries and fails to moisturize dry lips while the calm in the mansion fades away as ragged breaths begin to echo through the walls and hallways of the open and lonely residence.

The man tries to walk with confident steps and ignore the increasing dizziness as he attempts to reach the kitchen counter. This is not an emergency; he is okay.

Or so he repeats to himself mentally as he stumbles in front of the sink in the empty kitchen, opening the water tap before poking his open mouth under it. He can’t remember if the tap water it’s fit for drinking, but he knows it’s the only water source for it since the fridge filter is constantly beeping, asking for a replacement.

The liquid cascades down his throat, in and out of it, wetting his chest and making him cough, the result is water spilled everywhere due to him taking too long to close the tap. After a few minutes, Louis decides the healthiest thing to do is bathe and go out for food. Although he doesn’t feel as weak as before, he looks in the cabinets for something to chew on.

By the time he steps under the shower-head, he has slurped the content of five ketchup envelopes. The omega continues to chew on the plastic afterward, trying not to gag at the bittersweet taste created by his dirty mouth and the sugary taste of the tomato sauce.

He holds the soap bar against the corners of his skin remembering how no one has touched him in ages. The man dares to prude against those places with a hazy look, conjuring all the fantasies from past years and ignoring the red flags as he palms his soft cock before moving to his arse cheeks.

The excitement dies soon after he tries to get two fingers inside, shaking his head as he notices the lack of self-lubrication. In a state of denial, he pushes harder, screaming when no slick appears, turning the discomfort into a burning pain. Breathing proves to be hard again whilst trying to rinse off and dash out of the shower.

Louis walks in the closet, wetting the floor while annoyingly noticing the layers of dust on every shelf. He grabs a pair of jeans, his underwear, and two shirts before running out of the suffocating space.

The contracture on his back and shoulders aches for the bed, begging for a ting of comfort but getting nothing in return. He just sits there with ragged exhales and a mind going overboard.

Louis smiles for a few seconds, caressing the loose clothing of his jeans; thoughts being either sluggish or flashes. He looks at the big room, taking in the high walls he refuses to sleep in between, wondering if the light being off would make the place resemble a haunted house in which he is the ghost.V

The sun is hiding behind white clouds by the time he closes the front door behind him, struggling a little to slip his shoes in while looking for the car keys on the tote bag. The car engine roars and so Louis drives out of the sliding gate, the area outside is clear from cars and surrounded by the hill’s woods but that is not what worries him, what does is the appearance of magenta dots on the corners of his vision and the way his hands won’t stop trembling.

It’s almost 11 a.m. when he arrives at his favorite restaurant by the outskirts of the city, where there are no green-juices, detox options nor organic medium grain bread sandwiches or Caesar salads with five cubes of unflavored chicken. Louis does not have anything against those places; he is just too hungry for them right now.

Louis is painfully aware his legs keep shaking as he walks in Rafa’s hut, there is a cramp on his right ankle from pressing on the gas but he doesn’t limp and just opens the door, noticing how none of the people in their boots, tables or by the bar stools turn around to look at him when the doorbell rings.

The omega inhales, smiling a little at his antics and how welcoming and comforting he finds the smell of greasy eggs, sausages, and coffee. A faraway table in the corner gains his attention and he advances to it in a rush, so focused on just sitting down so his legs wouldn’t fail him. However, when he is an arm's distance from it, a couple is running and sliding into the chairs, taking the seats.

“Excuse me, I w-was about to…”

“Why do you need a table this big for?” the sweaty alpha looks at him with an annoyed expression, rolling his eyes before returning his attention to their partner.

“I was about to sit, you can’t just-” he tries with a heated face showcasing how upset he is getting. The omega accompanying the alpha turns her face, with her chin to the shoulder as she sniffs.

“Know your place, omega” she scoffs casually before going back to her alpha’s attention.

And just like that, Louis feels ready to crumble, like the world itself is telling him to piss off, go home, and stay there. Feeling unwelcome is not an unfamiliar feeling but he can admit the years have taken a toll on him, especially on his omega anatomy. With a sandcastle-like state of mind, he makes a 180 turn and tries to look for a new place to sit.

When he finally sits on one of the boots, the omega refrains from passing out by pretending to read the menu even though he already knows his order. His appearance must have been telling enough in some way because soon there is a glass of water getting placed in front of him.

“Good morning” pink hair and flower tattooed sleeves greet him while Louis downs the glass empty.

“Thank you, Ro” the beta nods, the worried look she gives and fails to hide doesn’t go unnoticed so he tries to smile a little. “Hey, I know it’s been long since the last time we talked…”

“May I take your order?”

“Um yes but is everything okay?” her eyebrow arches yet the expression says nothing, she just pats the notebook on her hand in an urgent manner that makes the omega nervous. Louis notices it all, he doesn’t know if it is an omega thing or his own thing but as soon as he perceives it, he wants to go home. He wants to go home, forget about everyone’s faces and sleep, still, the hunger is the loudest of his worries.

“The same as always, please” she shakes her head before leaving, Louis stares at the way she goes, turning her back on him in a very familiar way. He eyes the door, wondering if he should make a run for it as the clinking of the cutlery against the plates rises the speed of blood flow under his skin.

The light inside it’s only a reflection from the blinding pavement but he closes his eyes, the feeling of tearful and irritated pupils only serves to upset him even more; no one’s attention is on him, but the embarrassment only continues to grow.

As if he didn’t look pathetic enough when he walked in, now he is getting upset out of nowhere. He senses the way they all are thinking it, he can feel it in the crippling anguish setting in his shoulders; the smell of grease seems to be strong enough to overpower the panic signals he must be giving off.

There’s a chant on the tip of his tongue, praying for him to get it together yet no matter how much he holds into the twin hand, the air goes rapidly in and out of his chest until his mouth is opening, the gasp he voices makes two people from the bar table turn around. Soon, Louis finds himself covering his gaping mouth, fisting the sleeves of the plaid shirt and biting on the covered-up skin of the back of his hand.

As soon as brown and blue eyes turn away from him, the omega chastises the latest biting habit he developed in recent years. His teeth linger on the reddened skin with a bitter smile, the omega recalls how the last time he had sex, his partner for the night kicked him soon after he nibbled on the alpha’s arm.

The unpleasant memory echoes the voice of his doctor, telling him how dangerous it was to do it outside a bond. The pitiful look he gave whilst explaining why was the omega biting his sex partners still made Louis’ skin boil; he did rip out the stupid prescription as soon as he walked out of the building. 

Somehow, spiraling down those memories buys him enough time so when Ro comes back, he can unclench his hands, un-tense the shoulders, and feel his tongue drop from the top of his mouth. If he salivated at the sight of the tray full of dishes only for him, no one had to know.

“Enjoy your meal sir” she leaves before Louis can snap out of the amazement, he would normally spend a couple of seconds trying to call after her just to get her to look at him, but the hunger its an attention-consuming kind of pain.

The omega devours the toast and eggs, wastes ten napkins with a spilling burrito and when he slurps at the strawberry milkshake he finally recognizes the mustard stain of the sausages on his cheek, wiping it with his finger before licking it. He carries on with the same enthusiast through every plate, ignoring the shaking and waves of nausea. 

By the time he finishes the dinosaur chicken nuggets the afternoon has numbed the payment’s glow and his jaw aches.

“If I have to clean any vomit from the omega’s restroom, I won’t allow you to set foot back in here ever again, you hear me?” Ro’s tone is reprimanding.

“I’m not sick” he scoffs without looking at her, piling the dishes in order with a timid look as she sits across from him.

“Not yet” when the omega dares to meet the beta’s eyes, he feels the instant need to look away at the sight of a stern face holding a tad of anger and a tad concern. “You know this isn’t normal, right? When was the last time you ate, Louis?”

“Excuse you, I had some tomato soup before I came here” he answers apprehensively, the no-bullshit expression made Ro’s brown eyes seem softer but he wasn’t about to test his luck and mention it. “I’m sorry for…”

“Why, for disappearing on me again? For not looking after yourself? For resurfacing after weeks, looking thinner than ever and thinking so little of me that I would fall for the soup lie? Tell me, Louis, what are you sorry for now? For being a bad friend?” Louis tries to reach for her when she starts tearing up, but she pulls her hands away from the table.

“Ro, I...”

“I was so worried something might have happened to you, I called a hundred times and not once did you pick up the phone Louis! , I even went to your house, your neighbors saw me trying to get in and were about to call the police on me, they said you probably weren't there since they hadn’t seen you in weeks either. How the hell would you feel if I did that to you?”

“Rory, I’m so-” his throat’s muscles decided it was the right time to shrink in and soon regretful tears were spilling over the tower of dishes. “I'm so sorry Ro, please forgive me,” Louis says before standing up and lunging at the beta with a whimper that gets everyone’s attention.

“Look at you, omega, so unbalanced; panicking, eating like a starved man and crying at the drop of the hat” Louis shakes his head against her shoulder, letting the weight of her arms anchor him.

The beta holds him, allowing him to stain her chest with tears at the same time he apologizes again and again over the soft skin. Rosemary pats his back, soothing the craving for touch and when her boss finally calls her out, they bid each other goodbye with promises on the lips.

Back on the road, the omega drives away feeling lightweight, eyes are closing while waiting for the green light and when he tries to keep a good posture and shake his head for his mind to snap out, his body won’t respond with anything but lazy blinks and yawns. Scared after a couple of car horns, Louis decides to stop at some restaurants to stretch out and order some takeaway.

The sun’s intensity had been dulled out by gray clouds as he walked down the empty parking lot, he was still far off from the city, in a little remote area filled with small businesses and close to a residential sector. The calm was a different kind of calm, Louis could not pinpoint what made it different from his place, which was closer to the sea than to the city, but it did.

He was strolling out of one of the buildings, focusing on balancing the four bags on his fingers while attempting to retrieve the keys from his pocket when a sudden wail rang throughout the whole parking space.

“Mama!” The omega barely had the time to set the bags on the floor before a crying toddler ran into his legs, making him stumble and pat the small head in shock, as the little alpha sobbed against his jeans. “Mama! Mommy!”

“Um, hi love? I think you are a confused-” before Louis could finish the sentence, the boy was clutching his thigh and there was a fuming teenager exuding exasperation walking his way. When she is some feet closer, the child moves around his thigh, still holding tight to it, to hide behind him.

“Mommy save me!” The omega freezes, just registering the term the smaller alpha is using so confidently.

“Sam! What are you doing? oh my god, you are so embarrassing!” the teen screeches out, her brown hair is in a messy ponytail and the heavy breaths and tinted cheeks are evidence enough that she has been chasing the kid.

“But Addy! Is mommy!” Louis looks down at the toddler with a perplexed expression, mind shutting down.

“What are you talking about? ... I’m so sorry Sir” Adeline goes to say, reaching for her brother but stopping on her tracks when she and the omega meet eyes. “Oh, my goodness, oh my god, it’s you!”

“Hey, yes it’s me…?” Louis finally snaps at the sound of giggles behind him.

“My mommy!” Sam squeals, bouncing from behind the omega and eagerly anchoring to the soft hand. Louis wants to frown so badly at the awe in those eyes, but he gives up after a toothy grin.

“I think you are mistaken, love,” the omega says softly but the growing pout makes him regret ever opening his mouth.

“Mr. Tomlinson, I am so sorry, my name is Adeline Styles and this is my brother, Sam” matching green eyes speak, Louis goes to take her hand when a sudden wave of playfulness shakes him, he laughs a little bit, making the embarrassment on the teen alpha grow increasingly fast.

“Nice to meet you, Styles” the blush switches sides when the toddler which must be around 4 years old starts scenting him by rubbing his face on his thigh.

“Sam! I’m so sorry for him, it’s just…”

“Just…?” he questions before bending down and picking up Sam, who immediately starts sniffing his neck. “Are you guys alright? Where are your parents?”

“My mommy!” the child frowns at him and when Louis looks at the teenager expectantly, she is non-successfully trying to not bite her lip.

“It’s okay, Adeline, you can tell me”

“I can’t believe this is how my first time meeting a celebrity goes”

“How do you...?” the man wants to ask; he is pretty sure she is too young to know who he is.

“My dad!” it is the only clear thing coming out of her mouth, she stumbles and pauses, eyeing him nervously as if waiting for him to snap.

“Do I know your dad, love?” the omega steps a little closer, hoping body language conveys he is not upset but confused. When she shakes her head, trying to compose herself by grabbing her own hands on a death grip, he reaches for her. “Adeline? you are hurting yourself”

It’s Louis's turn to shake his head when she begins to apologize when both sets of eyes open, they linger on each other, and then he notices she is matching their breaths.

“My dad is your biggest fan”

“Is he?” the omega replies, curious.

“Yeah, he has a picture of you on a shelf in his bedroom where he usually leaves flowers… he is really weird but all the movies and shows you made mean a lot to him, you are also like the epitome of perfection for him”

“He has an altar for me, does he think I’m dead?” he questions playfully, smiling at the sight of the young alpha laughing.

“No! He is just weird but to be honest, I wouldn’t blame him if he did, you kind of disappeared” Adeline answers, her tone is charged with confidence as she stares at him expectantly.

“I thought he was my fan in the family?”

“I do look up to you quite a lot too, is why I got so nervous” she shrugs. “Are you weird out by my dad? I apologize for his creepy behavior” the omega laughs, throwing a fond look to the toddler on his arm who tries to match his laugh by giggling.

“More like a surprise, and still a little confused by this one” Louis expresses, fixing the child on his hip. “Is he one of your dad’s obsession victims too? If I were your mother, I would have given hell to your dad for making my baby call another omega mom. Right, Sammy?”

“Mommy!” the small alpha squeals and when the omega coos, he stares back with devotion, nose-diving the sweet-smelling creature’s collarbones.

“We don’t um, he is a, is just my dad really”

“Oh, is that why you are here? Were you waiting for him? When I was young, I had to pick up my four siblings and take us to mom’s job and wait for her shift to end so we could go home”

“Four? I can barely keep with Sam”

“Yeah, it’s hard, too much responsibility for someone so young” Adeline is nodding, and Louis thinks she is seconds away from saying Amen. “Until you grow a little and realize how much is on them compared to you”

“Was your mom alone too?”

“Aye, really lonely” the omega does not miss the way she shifts on her feet, eyes looking away, the lip-biting making a comeback.

“My dad is lonely too, and sad”

“With you two? I’m not sure that’s true, darling” Louis comforts, oblivious to the growing light of an idea flashing by the girl’s eyes. “I’m sure he is just tired from work -”

“Oh my god, Louis! would you write something for him?”

“Sure, but…”

“No worries, I got it” she is turning around excitedly, kneeling on the floor to search into her big green backpack more comfortably.

In the other hand, Louis holds a baby who keeps nuzzling his chest tiredly, the omega tries not to focus on the soft scent of almonds, mint, and a little lavender, but he does and for a brief second he hugs the toddler a little tighter, he bids the longing goodbye once Adeline stands up and hands a notebook with two markers.

“Mommy, ‘m hungry” Samuel protests as soon as he feels the omega lowering him to the ground. The little alpha stands, now that his mom is sitting on the pavement, eyes fixed on his mom’s, and how they are not paying attention to him. “Maaa!”

Before the toddler makes her sister roll her eyes again, there is a plastic fork with a little bit of mac and cheese in front of him.

“Careful love, it might be hot ” Louis shakes his head when the smaller alpha goes in for the bite, making approving noises. “Can you do it by yourself, baby? I have something to write to your dad”

The only answer he gets is a nod and the toddler diving into one of the boxes of food. The omega offers a fork to Adeline and sooner than later the three of them are sitting on the sidewalk of the parking lot by the car, the rest of the plastic bags stare back at Louis as he writes to the children’s father.

He writes intermittently, attention divided between accepting the piece of fried chicken Samuel extends to him and staring at the warm daylight trying to sneak in between the clouds. Birds migrating, the faraway sound of people talking, the wandering feeling on his chest, and two pairs of green eyes.

In the waiting time, Adeline explains that her aunt is the one running late, she also rants with enthusiasm about her love for that scene in that movie which Louis doesn’t even remember doing. The teen talks with admiration about the songs he performed during some series, and he smiles, trying to not spill to a middle schooler how powerless he felt back then, how everything feels so foreign to him. Louis almost wants to tell her Louis Tomlinson, the famous actor, and him, are two different people. 

Weirdly enough, the omega is capable of remaining calm after the mention of all those triggering memories thanks to the dozed off toddler in his lap. He holds the tiny hand and stares at it in awe at how the fingers grip his thumb.

When Adeline finally changes the subject to a story about the embarrassment of her life at school, he tries to laugh as quiet as possible. Funnily enough, the exact moment he spares a look at the closed notebook where he wrote to their father a honking can be heard. A small blue car pulls up with a woman inside, who is holding a phone to her ear.

“That’s my aunt, Gemma”

“She seems busy,” he says before helping Adeline pack up things, hesitating a little bit with the notebook in his hand.

“She is, always” Louis tries not to frown at her sigh and how this auntie continues to honk instead of stepping out of the car to help Adeline with the sleeping toddler. “It’s okay, you can pass him, it’s better if he stays asleep”

“He didn’t wake up after your aunt’s beeps, I don’t think he will wake up even if you dropped him”

“There’s only one way to find out, right?” the teenager says playfully.

“Are you sure? I can…” Louis points at the direction of the car.

“I am an alpha Mr. Louis, I am strong!”

“Didn’t say you weren’t, but being strong doesn’t mean you don’t need help” Louis felt the double-sword in his words as soon as he said them, shoulders tensing involuntarily under the receiving end from the look on emerald eyes.

“I know ” she replies, stepping in and taking her now drooling brother, huffing a little for the show but smiling back at Louis. “It was nice meeting you! Thank you for the food and the letter”

“It is nothing…” The omega goes to say and finds himself stopping mid-track when she hugs him, sandwiching his brother against his chest and encircling his waist. “It was nice meeting you too, Addy”

The alpha is running to the car after a series of annoying beeps and Louis watches as she opens the car door, climbing in and holding Samuel like he weighs nothing to her. As the car pulls out from the parking lot, he can smell the diesel and the dirt on it but somehow there is a reminiscent scent lingering in the air around, one with an underlying hint of mint and something else.

Louis stands there for quite longer than he would like to admit, the randomness and unexpected moment left him hanging on a fine thread he doesn’t know how to walk. He kneels to pick out the rest of the bags, taking out the car keys and for some reason, he smiles, a tiny bit, before jumping into his car.

The omega knows it won’t last, no matter the noise nor the silence, he will find himself spiraling again, be it in the next 10 seconds or a couple of hours when he gets back to that empty house. But right now, Louis Tomlinson smiles at the universe and it’s ways.


	2. Supermarket flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry met :D
> 
> Warnings: overuse of the word chocopops in a paragraph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GORGEOUS BEANS!13 COMMENTS??? 71 KUDOS??? I AM STILL IN SHOCK, my stomach cannot handle the happiness, grandma might argue it's a gas but I know it's not. It's all because of you so thank you, thank you so much. I am very excited about this fic too, I had it in mind for so long, so here goes another chapter. 
> 
> To the bean who got excited over Louis wearing Dakota Johnson's outfits, hi, ily, sorry I couldn't find a pic of the dress Louis is wearing in this chapter but it's a very casual and random dress I saw her use and didn't save the picture *cries in Spanish*. Don't know if I should add pictures, do I want us to collectively have war flashback to the times where fics included Polyvore boards?...let me know?

The house was submerged in complete darkness, white curtains floating over the living room as the only living creature around stared at the moon’s reflection in the somber waters. Louis laid there in the wooden chair with hands between his thighs, mouth agape, and bruised marks on his ankles and hips.

Past midnight breezes ran over him mockingly, freezing him in place and feeding the desolation. Sadness spread through his veins like a forest fire while fixed eyes watched the fine lines of the sea waves.

The omega felt incredibly small under the weight of the memories and the faces hovering over. When squeezed shut eyelids tried to regain peace, he found himself recalling his mom’s voice.

Begging him to come back home, voicemail after voicemail. Louis wishes he had, he wonders how different life would be if he had learned to trust his gut the way his mom always told him to.

He recalls with sickening ease the faces of his brothers and sisters, their desperation for him to stay, to not leave them the way everyone did. The shattered trust he left behind as he packed a bag, screaming about deserving a life of his own, a life where he didn’t have to look after them all the time.

Louis knows all the guilt he made them feel, they let him know when he came back months later. Back then, after his first movie, he had felt on top of the world, overjoyed and proud of himself, yet their eyes were filled with resentment. 

The night progresses with the scarring echo of his mom laughing at his return, spitting insult after insult as she throws the bills of the envelope at him. He doesn’t long for their affection and forgiveness as he used to, the omega showered them in apologies and tried to mend the broken but eventually, it came a time where the rejection became too much to handle, and so he moved on.

To a life of his own, one where the loneliness only grew bigger, untamable. Loneliness, no lover, no dream, and no amounts of money could make go away. It sat there in the corner passively suffocating him.

Louis was fed up with the pain, with the constant need to scream and cry but not being able to, or sometimes -like right now- not having the energy for it all. He understood the cycle where all the overwhelming repulsiveness just led him to revive and torture himself with memories that reaffirmed the disgust.

The omega fed the monsters and they fed on him, he often found himself thinking how ironic it was for him to leave the world who consumed him only to be devoured by another.

The doctors said he needed to compromise, they warmed him plenty of times about the consequences of touch starvation. How it would make things worse for him. Louis had brushed it off, coping in the ways he knew how to, until he couldn’t.

Eight days had gone by since the last time he had contact with anyone, he didn’t understand if his inability to keep food down was due to the acid sitting on his throat ready to send everything back, or if it was because of the repulsive smell of the food after not being refrigerated.

Louis went from the heat kind of fever to the sweaty chills that made him want to hug the warmest machine in the house, the microwave. He paraded around the house, barefoot and singing into the delirium to feel less scared.

Shaking hands gripped the baby blanket for dear life, he often fell asleep and woke up just to chase the sun around the windows and floors like a domestic animal.

As the daylight changed the shade of blue in the sky, he recoiled from the intense rays burning and tanning his skin. His stomach and bladder contracted painfully as he continued to shrink himself like that would shrink the pain too.

The curses and pleads fall silent once he stares at the particles falling off the leaves from the plant in front of him. A swift thought makes him curious about said particles, he wonders if it’s dust or pollen, if the plant it’s going to live another day or if it’s just rotting like him.

When he stands up, the dizzy spell makes him stumble and forces him to grip one of the door’s handles. He is doubled over, resting his forehead on the handle along with his hands, unaware of the bleeding scratch the sharp end has created. The omega walks inside the house, clinging to the furniture and gagging at the strong smell of the food he left on the counter.

Louis stares at the white containers with uneasiness, he was scared of throwing up again but he was also afraid of the pain he kept experiencing. He never understood the modern tendency to compare organisms to machines until now, when he felt like a machine breaking down.

In the end, he ended up biting down the rancid food, forcing himself to chew and keep it down. Promising it will be the last time, he’ll buy a new fridge, pay the gas, and cook, he promises it to the sight of frail knees on the reflecting surface of the stove.

The omega keeps touching his neck, begging the throat to hold into the food as he showers and dresses. When he looks in the mirror after washing his teeth, he notices the swollen scratches on his forehead, laughing at the stock of band-aids in the cabinet.

An hour later, when he is parking outside a store close to Ro’s job, he is still thinking of the drops of blood on his fingers and what it reminded him of. 

He opens the door only to stare at the parking lot, smiling at the memory of the alpha child who called him mom. A smile that soon turned into a bittersweet grimace. Trying to divert his mind from any more nostalgia, he walks into the store, bending down to pick up a basket quickly as to hide the way his legs tremble thanks to the AC. 

Louis blushes madly when he catches a cute alpha ogling his bare legs and winking in his direction. 

He scurries down the alley on his gray sweatshirt dress, sneakers squeaking loudly when he stops right in front of his favorite isle. All his senses have sharpened due to the touch deprivation but this time, the omega feels a little at ease at the sweet smell of the bakery section. 

Pastries upon pastries stare back at him, all shiny, soft, and delicious. Louis even lets out a delighted sigh that makes a couple of passers stop and stare, but he doesn’t pay them any mind as he picks up a tray and the bread tongs.

When the cashier gives him the big paper box with the price tag on it, Louis shrugs at the numbers with an indulging smile and say thanks to the beta. With a salivating mouth, he proceeds to add other necessities to the basket while fantasizing about eating one of the pastries with some bitter warm coffee.

By the time he finds the section where the coffee and boxes of tea are, the frozen section has already tinted his knees and fingertips pink. The omega is aware of the amount of non-healthy choices but what else could someone expect from him when he is this hungry.

Louis also knows getting all of his comfort foods might be him trying to compensate for the other things he can’t give to his body. Sadly it’s not like he could walk in here, pick an Alpha and take him home forever. He admits it would be nice, dehumanizing, but still nice. 

There is a brief moment where the omega wishes he could just spin around, Louis ain’t sure if his head is on a cotton candy cloud or if said head it’s stuffed with it, but the scents all around make up for a false sense of euphoria that he is holding tight into. 

He doesn’t feel the impulse to touch or to close in on strangers but if he stares longingly at couples holding each other or just spinning in each other's orbit, no one notices. 

No one sees him swallow down the envy, bite his lip, and look down. Jealousy was shameful to him, it left him feeling exposed as any other object on the shelves and he didn’t need that. None of it. 

As the blue eyes scan the colorful cereal boxes, frowning at the high-fiber options, his imagination amuses him with the picture of himself crying on an alpha’s chest, telling him they ran out of  _ choco pops _ as he cries hysterically, and how the baby won’t stop kicking until the alpha gets him  _ choco pops _ . 

He sighs a little dreamily before a displeased sound escapes his lips, Louis is sure the universe has a humiliation kink with him. He has zero doubts and tons of proof. The omega can’t believe his bad luck as he stares at the yellow boxes of his favorite cereal, which seems to look down on him from the far back of the tallest shelf. 

Out of his reach even when he stands on his tiptoes, and no one around to help or to reprimand him, Louis ultimately decides to step on the shelves and climb them.

Faster than he thought possible, he is staring longingly at one of the box’s corners peeking, but the moment one of his fingers touches it, he is losing balance and bracing himself for the fall. Except the only thing he finds himself landing on, is someone’s arms.

It doesn’t feel as slow-motion like in the movies, he knows edition does wonders for romance, but all the condescension in the world couldn’t prepare him for the shock. 

The dizziness comes in the company of the sharpest eyes Louis has ever seen, they are green and shiny like in the movies and they stare at him with that mix of wonder and awe described in the romances he used to read in high school. He finds himself wanting to stay there, he wants to drink a poison that will allow him to shrink so he can swim in the evergreen of those pupils, cuddle in the crescent dimple and maybe get a kiss goodnight from those lips. 

Louis blushes over his wild thoughts but as he opens his mouth to mutter an apology, the words hang on to the cliff of his tongue. The distinct yet underlying smell of lavender, almond, and mint accompanied by another scent he still can’t pinpoint, leave him speechless.

The omega feels like reaching for the alpha’s cute mole, he doesn’t know whether to pinch it or just kiss it, but the decision enough brings the attention to where his hands were resting. The muscles under his fingertips are ridiculously firm and a tingly chill runs up from his belly button when the alpha smirks down at him. 

The man is talking yet all Louis can do is close his eyes at the raspy and deep sound of his voice. There is probably a part of the omega’s mind screaming at him to snap out of it but all he does is nod along the string of words coming out of the alpha. 

“Louis? Hi” the omega whines quietly and nods frantically. He must look dazed and so very gone, however, he finds no will to focus on anything but the growing beard and all of the stimulus this lovely alpha is supplying his deprived brain with. 

“Hello” later he will smack himself mentally for swooning that way, now,  _ lord it’s so worth the shame _ .

“Can I...?” 

The omega nods impulsively and when the nameless stranger hugs him, enveloping him in the warmest place, he feels like a butterfly who just wants to stay in this cocoon. 

“Hey, sorry for being this forward and awkward, I-“ 

“Styles?” Louis questions, feeling himself slowly coming back from the cotton candy cloud. The omega soon realizes he is sitting on the man’s legs, being held by the waist as another hand cradles his head, and so the urge to stay loses the battle against the embarrassment. 

When they finally step away from each other's arms, the alpha is biting his lip and picking at the skin.

“You...?”

“You smell like them, they smell like you”

“Harry”

“Huh?”

“Harry Styles, nice to meet you” the alpha says, holding out a hand that envelops Louis completely.

“Mm so Harry, seems like we hooked up some years ago and you got me knocked up, waited 9 months, and ran for the hills with my pup?” Louis jokes, laughing at the cheeky smirk on the alpha’s face.

“I can explain it” Harry answers hurriedly before kneeling to help pick up the products that fell from the basket. 

“Can you? I also heard I have an altar at your house, were you trying to summon me with that too? It is kind of creepy” he kneels too, sighing with relief at the chance for his heart to rest. 

“I mean, you deserved it...”

“Excuse me?” he looks up in confusion.

“You are so talented, why wouldn’t I try to show my kid about someone like you?” Louis wants to call him a fool but the words fail him again, surrounding under the honest devotion in the alpha’s eyes. 

“You are not even that embarrassed about it, huh?” he looks down at the pastry bag in his hands, breath shaking when a finger holds him by the chin and forces him to look up. 

“Should I? I have had a crush on you since I was 16 and over the last decade you and your work have been the only genuine things in my life, I don’t think there’s anything shameful in it” The alpha states with an intense look in his eyes.

  
  


“Genuine, Harry?” The omega wants to laugh in his stupid and gorgeous face. There was nothing genuine in his career, some days not even the piled-up mountain of dark feelings felt genuine.

“And solid...”

“Are these your wedding bows?” Both of them laugh, Louis says it to relieve the intensity of their stares. He can feel his limbs shake, his nerves have him alert of the way Harry moves to place the last item on his basket. 

He wants to bottle up his smell, his laugh, his touch. He wants to take him home, but he can’t. 

“Thank you for looking after them until my sister got there”

“They are the loveliest pair I’ve met”

“Yea, sometimes. Sammy has gone crazy since he met you... it’s actually the reason I came here, looking for that”

“Smart kid” Louis laughs at the cereal box on top, the one he couldn’t reach, when Harry steps closer so he can grab one of it, the omega feels his cheeks warming up again as he involuntarily swoons over the soothing scent. 

Before he can apologize for his behavior, the tall alpha is extending one yellow box to him. 

“Thank you” he says, turning shy and bashful. 

Harry doesn’t say anything else before bowing his head a little and turning around without any farewell. Louis doesn’t know how long he stands there, now unaware of the passing customers and staring at the polished floor.

The omega hugs himself after a while, this time his cheeks are red with another kind of embarrassment.  _ Did he say something wrong? Did he do something wrong? _ questions run violently inside, the uncomfortable feeling in his gut makes him want to curl up and disappear. 

He doesn’t understand where the humiliation and rejection come from, and he knows how impossible it will be to try and make sense of it.  **_Gosh, he is such a mess._ ** The voice is a whisper from his past yet he is looking around in disappointment.

“Get it together Louis” he whispers to himself in the vacant aisle, shaking his head when upset tears fill the corners of his eyes. “Stupid alphas” 

“Would it be too weird if this stupid alpha asked you out?” Harry inquires out loud, making Louis turn around to see him stand there, grinning unapologetically at him as he holds three buckets of supermarket flowers out to the omega. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should have tittle this chapter Shameless Alpha, curse my corny self who can only go to the supermarket bc of this pandemic and thinks --oh how lovely would it be if a cute stranger gave me a bouquet of those flowers. Anygays, be gay do crime, and take care, okay? I'll read you soon <3


	3. Pretzel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, who wants a pretzel? Nvm, gonna summarise it with “gotta ruin a date to get one” longest chapter so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember the rules folks: If ya see a mistake in the writing, look away, I only have 3 brain cells left. They are trying their best.

> **“This separation from a world,**
> 
> **which in comparison with one’s own individual existence is overwhelmingly strong and powerful,**
> 
> **and often threatening and dangerous,**
> 
> **creates a feeling of powerlessness and anxiety.”**
> 
> **E, FROMM.**

It wasn’t like Louis to be laying on the grass, cozy and swooning over the smell of the flowers he held close to his chest. He didn’t know the names of said beauties, but he knew the bouquets in his arms were the best he was ever given. 

The harsh light of the day softened thanks to the tree branches on his friend’s garden, warming the already blushed cheeks that he hid on the flowers. 

“Are you even listening to me?” The beta words finally reach him and all he does is giggle, rolling in the blanket she set for him.

“He is so handsome, Ro, you don’t understand,” he says with a frown adorning his forehead as he turns to look at the woman. “He is tall and has the most gorgeous eyes, and made me feel…”

“All warm over, you already said that. I get it, he is cute or whatever, but you are missing the point I am trying-”

“I didn’t imprint on him” Louis pouts under his friend’s glare, the beta shakes his head, setting the camera on the ground with a serious posture. “Well, I don’t think I did-!”

The beta’s laugh is as ironic and he nervously tears the petals apart from an Amaryllis, counting the days left he was to wait before calling Harry back.

“I just want you safe, what you said...I need to look after you.” 

The omega turns his face, curling into himself at the memory of the episode he had after Harry left the aisle, four days ago, with a **_Call me?_ **on his lips. 

The cashier at the supermarket had eyed his teary eye expression and runny nose with confusion. Louis had driven to Ro’s work, unable to leave the car in the parking lot due to the strength of the Alpha’s scent pull. He bawled like a baby when she tried to make him get out of the car. 

The omega had been terrified while driving, senses in overdrive trying to look for the source of that scent, losing it when he couldn’t find it, find him. 

He had opened out of impulsiveness, Louis didn’t mean to ever share this heavy baggage, no matter how much his body craved for anybody to take the weight off.

Rosemary and Louis had known each other for a while. They met on the set of one of his last projects. She was the makeup artist and him the movie’s main lead. It goes to say they spent all those long hours working together bonding over, getting along almost immediately. 

Louis had been grateful for having someone to laugh with. Outside the movie sets, the world was falling apart, and when his life, his little world started crumbling too, she was on his side. 

When he decided to leave The Angels City, tired of starving and craving for a life that just left him hungry, Rose suggested moving here. Life wasn’t as different, yet he was comforted by the distance he put between everything and himself. 

The omega hadn’t told her much back then and was thankful she never pushed for questions, nor answers, no matter how much the media offered for a juicy detail. 

Once upon a time, Louis used to be Jordan’s “Diamond in the sky”, every Director’s favorite star, Derek’s Soulmate, Jasper’s, and Allan’s too. Cared for some of them. Loved none until Demian, who he bonded and married, his wife until he couldn’t make himself any smaller for him.

Now he was no one’s.

So, to prevent Ro from calling 911, Louis talked. Told her he didn’t need doctors, that he knew what was happening, he just wasn’t able to control it as usual because of that cute, dimpled Alpha. 

“You don’t have to Ro” he says as she sits by his side and offers her lap and warm hands. Louis eyes her, biting his wobbling lip at the safety and comfort of her rosewater scent. “You…you don’t have to take care of me” the omega lays his head on her legs, sighing at the hands caressing his hair. 

Louis remembers how back in school his beta classmates would constantly get into fights because dumb alphas told them they smelled like shit. All because betas couldn’t detect scents the way alphas and omegas could. Louis knows why her name is Rose Mary, she even has a rosemary sprout tattooed in her leg, yet he wonders if someone ever told her parents their baby smelled like roses too. 

Sometimes she smelled like a rose garden, other times like rosewater, the essence remained the same.

He lingers on the memory of Harry’s words, how he said Louis was one of the few genuine things in his life. Louis doesn’t think Ro and him have the strongest friendship, they both kept a lot to themselves, and somehow if someone were to ask him. She was the only genuine thing in his life.

It’s not like he had many options, since he had screwed it up with his family, ended it with his ex-Alpha, and retired at 30 with famous friends he couldn’t trust. 

“You don’t have to” A beta’s touch could only do so much for touch starved omegas, still, Louis hid his tears against her pant leg. _It wasn’t enough. “But thank you.”_ He sobbed.

Ro didn’t shush him, she just caressed him for some minutes before saying: 

“He will be over the moon once you call him, throw his kid in the air out of joy. Maybe you should call social services instead.”

Louis laughs, he doesn’t remember the last time love felt this scary. All he remembers, it’s the fast-moving kind of love that was easy until it was hell. Maybe it’s because he didn’t use to be this scared, nor scarred. 

Now he is almost 33 years old and finds himself calling **_love_ **having met a random single-parent Alpha who told his kid Louis was their mother. It was ridiculous, creepy, and so undeniably cute. 

Harry was a parent, like any other who must be struggling with life, trying to balance work and family, and still, he looked at him as if life were perfect and he could spend thousands of years just staring at Louis. 

And when you spend more than a decade hating the way everyone looks at you, it’s scary, and awesome, to feel so good under someone's eyes. 

Therefore, Louis lays there with his head on his friend’s lap, holding the flowers he gave him. Counting the days left for the imprint to wore off so he could, as Ro said, **_make your decisions without the influence of an illusion your starved mind came up with._ **

Smiling with excitement at the chance of getting to hear Harry’s deep voice again. Wondering if he’ll dance with him to his favorite ABBA songs, or if he drinks so much coffee in the mornings, he now has trouble sleeping. 

[…]

Two days later, the omega is on Rafa’s Hut again, sitting in a boot staring down at the way his belly bloated due to all the cake slices he devoured. Louis has a sweet tooth, or more like a cake-y tooth. 

It all leads to the uncomfortable feeling of the long skirt squeezing his waist. Louis had been staying at her house, borrowing clothes, and paying with the groceries he never took home. 

He did try to roam around and not spent all day at her work, but Nolan, the owner of the diner kept offering him pastries upon pastries made by his husband, Rafael, and Louis wasn’t a heartless omega, he would never say no to an old man offering lemon cake. (!!!)

Nolan compared Louis to a little kitten a lot. 

The older alpha casually pointed out his fearful behavior, reassuring him with pastries and telling him it was okay to hold into your friends in times of need.

“I feel ashamed, for needing her this way” the omega admits, blushing at the Alpha’s chuckle.

“You shouldn’t, we alphas and omegas, we can’t do on our own.”

“I wish-, I wish I could be fine by myself.” The dark blue sweater hangs off his shoulders in a comforting manner, opposite to the waistband of the skirt squeezing his bloated belly. 

“It’s hard, harder when you are not comfortable with the person you are with, you.”

“I-“

“Right now, I’m here, and because of it, you focus on my brown eyes and nice profile” Louis giggles at the cocky pose. “But once I get up, and you get a few minutes by yourself, where would your mind go?”

At that, Louis physically shudders.

“I’m just a distraction, that’s all. You got a tormented look on you, kid. I don’t think being by yourself should be an option. At least, not now.”

They stay in silence; when the alpha finally stands up, he doesn’t say goodbye because he knows there is no point to one. He knows the omega would be here for another couple of hours. 

Louis knew this high feeling that carried him through the days wouldn’t last, he knew it and still allowed himself to believe in a greener grass. The helplessness and panic he felt six days ago, rolled and twisted in his stomach until it no longer felt anything like enthusiasm but dread.

He wasn’t ready for Harry or anyone; he wasn’t strong enough. The alpha had a family; Louis couldn’t just slip in and fit on the empty side of his bed. Life wasn’t that easy. 

Blue eyes begin to drip on the porcelain of the empty plates, the background noise of other customers’ laughing felt personal, it didn’t matter none of them were glancing his way. The humiliation poured down on him like cold water, he was that desperate for some love he was willing to trust the first pair of big arms and pretty eyes that crossed his way. 

The sweet taste in his palate turned bitter. It was a bliss, big expectations driving down a dead-end street that he needed to get out before it closed him in. 

**_Who was to say Harry wouldn’t do to him what Demian did? Why was he trusting a man he knew nothing about? Why was he thinking of a future with him?_ **

“Louis, everything alright?” the worried expression on Ro’s face only poured gasoline down on his nerves. With a heavy chest, he nodded, took some bills out of the skirt’s pocket, and went to move out of the boot. 

“I need to get out.” he muttered, stressed filled voice. 

“My shift ends in a…”

“No, Ro, I’m sorry, I have to leave.”

“Where?” the beta asked, making Louis stop in his tracks.

“I don’t know” he says, stepping to the side. 

“Louis Tomlinson!” Ro’ scream attracts the attention of the whole dinner.

When Louis turns to look around him, at the customers’ faces, he is met with surprised eyes and gasps that tell him, they recognize the name. 

“I didn’t-!” Ro’s face is filled with regret when he sees some people approaching. “I’m sorry.”

Louis shakes his head at the beta. He wants to tell her that _it is okay_ , that _it is no big deal_. But when a crowd begins to gather around, yelling and pushing, the omega wants to scream. 

**_“Is that really him? He looks so different.”_ **

**_“Mr. Tomlinson!”_ **

**_“Take a picture, take a picture!”_ **

_“Louis! Louis! Louis!”_ the omega doesn’t see the face of the person calling out to him as he tries to walk away. All he feels is the way someone is pulling at his wrist. 

“Please let go of me” he begs, turning around to see those expectant faces cornering him. 

_“C’mon, just a picture”_

_“Yeah, don’t be a bitch.”_

“I don’t want to. Let go of me.” Louis repeats, overwhelmed by the closeness, the scents, and their voices.

He can hear Ro trying to get to him, cursing at the unmoving crowd. The unforgiving grip on his wrist and then someone claiming the other, forcing him to tussle against it. 

“It’s just a fucking picture, all you have to do is smile.” 

Their faces become a blur; he begs for them to stop, but they won’t. When hands grab him by the waist, Louis can’t focus anymore, he feels dizzy with the constant pulls, about to cry with the urge to get out. 

“Get out of the fucking way! Leave him alone” Ro’s scent becomes distinct in the sea of uneasiness he is currently swimming in. 

Nolan’s voice is loud too yet he can’t make out his words. It’s not until he feels two hands cupping his cheeks that he becomes aware the unknown hands finally let go.

The beta’s rose water smell cradles him slowly back to consciousness, the first thing Louis can see is some of the cooks making a barricade around him. Ro’s boss is scolding some men to his left. 

Rosemary is holding him, asking questions he can’t concentrate on with the lingering feeling of hands all over him, voices cornering him, pressuring him to behave, calling him bitch. It’s all too much. 

“Let me go, I told you, but you won’t listen.” 

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to; I didn’t know this…”

“Let me go, Ro”

“Louis?” the beta frowns, the despair in his eyes scaring her.

Louis stands up, shakily with red cheeks stained with tears. 

“I’ll go home”

Minutes later, he climbs into the car and drives away. Thinking how interested paparazzi would be in the Raffa’s Hut once they find out he was here. He won’t get to inhale the comforting smell one last time. 

The feeling he carries as the cars flash before his eyes, streets growing bigger and busier, is not only nausea. It’s the familiar feeling from when he left his mom’s house at 16 after she said she didn’t want a “whore” for a son because he smelled Jordan on him. 

It’s the familiar feeling of leaving the hotel rooms silently before his night lovers woke up, asking their names when they tried to pursue a second chance, shrugging down their cursing with vodka. 

It’s the rush and despair of running away from the love of his life after finding out he sold his secrets to the press. Running away from the stable ground, into the nothingness. 

The same feeling, all over again. And no matter how fast he drives or runs. It’s all there, he couldn’t escape it. Exactly the way Nollan said to him hours ago. 

What did he have to do for it to stop? Did he have to go to the doctors? Sign papers that will allow them to lock him up in a room with a stranger alpha to mount him and knot him for weeks? Take the drugs afterward no matter the risk for organ failure? 

He drives, parks the car for a few minutes, and starts it again. _Anywhere, anywhere just not home_. He drives up the hills. 

From the moment he climbs out of his car, the highness of the view reminds him of the house he used to share with Demian. And for a split second, while the wind toys with his skirt, Louis misses him. 

Not really Demian, but the alpha part of him that held him and lied to him with the warmest voice. It was the first time in years he regretted leaving, thinking it would be better to live in that lie of a marriage, where at least he had a little love.

_Screw deserving better._ Louis thinks. _Screw deserving more._

He sits on the hood of the car with tears-soaked eyes, wincing when the naked skin of his shoulders gets in contact with the heated steel. Mind going through all the haunting _what-ifs_ under sunlight that couldn’t warm his skin.

Staring at the pink of his eyelids, he dwells on his younger self, not because he wishes to turn back time but because he wonders what happened to the 16-year-old Louis. 

Not the one who left home because he couldn’t handle parenting his siblings. Not the victim of Jordan’s drunkenness, nor the ‘diamond in the sky’ who founded him dead hours later. Not the ungrateful son who came back, bleeding and using the last name of the man who left his mom. 

Not any of those. 

But the Louis who understood the world and didn’t let it play with him, the smart one who didn’t wait to be hurt to curse someone’s name. The one who didn’t run no matter how much he bled because he promised himself once to never runaway as his father did.

_Life happened. Pain happened._ Said the first therapist he visited. _You need to forgive so you can sleep._ He said too in the last session. 

By then he had outgrown the wishful thinking, the trust in his instincts, and on other people. Still, Louis tried and was met with his mom’s closed door and Demian’s new wife. Went as far as to wish them happiness, thinking he could leave them all behind. Believing they wouldn’t torment him again.

Louis hadn’t been able to sleep for more than an hour for a whole month afterward. The time he later spent in the hospital was a fog of doctors talking, white walls, and tasteless colorful jelly. 

His manager visited, a couple of times. To tell him to get his shit together. To stop feeding the press, stop giving them reasons to drag him more. 

The omega doesn’t regret having thrown the cup with jello at him though. Even the nurse changing his IV bag giggled before telling the fuming beta that sleep-deprived people tended to be more irritable and suffer from hand tremors.

“Sir? Are you okay?” Louis opens his eyes to find a couple standing beside his car, holding hands, and wearing worried looks. The omega desperately wants to tell them about the lipstick stains, how scary the clown make-up looks. 

“Thought you found a dead body while going for a quickie in the mountains?” he jokes, sitting up and frowning at the sunlight. 

“We-we were not…”

“I’ll be out of your way in a second, don’t worry.”

“No, no, sir…”

“Please don’t, I’m leaving” he hopes down from the hood, trying to ignore the dizzy spell and the frown on their faces when he stumbles a little. 

“Sir, are you okay? You shouldn’t drive if you…”

  
  


[…]

  
  


Louis couldn’t go home. The car clock confirmed he had been driving anywhere and everywhere without a destination for hours on end. 

Sick with the sweet taste in his mouth, he considered stopping for a coffee, look for a park where he could lose himself for a little bit. Yet, every time he found a place, he pulled out of the parking spot at the sight of the smallest crowd. 

The omega could sense his eyes burning because of the afternoon sun’s reflection and his distressed scent getting too intense but opening the windows wasn’t an option. 

As the dainty ankle trembles, the tension and stress making the muscles cramp, Louis settles on parking by the next coffee shop he sees. Packed or not.

The omega guesses there are some forces above laughing at him when the first place to meet his eyes after making the promise, is a colorful place with painted yellow smiley faces and flowers. He has barely parked the car when the old lover's hippie music reaches his ears. 

“Wonder if they’ll have mushroom milk.” 

The high ceilings are decorated with colorful paper shapes, the walls are covered with unmatching cheap frames that showcase old pictures of irrelevant faces and settings. There are sharpie written names on the tables along with crossed hearts, weirdly shaped ones, and broken ones too.

Louis stops at the familiar words from a Spanish poem he once read on a love letter in high school. Next to it, are the cursing words someone didn’t get to say out loud. The omega rolls his eyes at the drawing of a knot a little close by.

A small shelf with ragged and used books catches his eyes at the same time a beta walk up to him.

“Good afternoon, can I get you something?” Louis turns.

“Yes, black coffee with no sugar nor milk” 

She nods and walks away, and the omega stays there, his curious eyes shift to look at the title on the spine of the book, holding together the words he knew by heart. 

Back when he didn’t feel like shattered porcelain, Louis had tried to pick up the pieces by drowning his mind with the words of people who were far more capable of expressing what he couldn’t. For while, he believed understanding what he felt would help him find a way to stop it. 

Louis knows the same edition in front of him is in a room somewhere at home, besides endless piles of other books that didn’t help the way he needed them to. The Fear of Freedom by Eric Fromm doesn’t mock him though. It reminds him of a time where optimism took him to find solace in a dead author’s words.

He wanders through the empty spaces, reading what is written on the tables, dreaming for a second about finding the right words. Maybe he shouldn’t have searched for the words of the mighty but the words of the helpless and hopeless like him. 

The omega doesn’t hear the waiter bringing in his coffee, suspecting it be on the table once he notices her pass by. 

He walks up to the cup holding the dark substance, frowning at the jar-like-size of it. Then he sees it, the black marker on the vase with napkins next to the pepper and salt. Soon, he finds himself looking for a table with more blank space available, walking around with the steamy and heavy mug. 

Once he does, he sits with his ankle behind his knee, taking the marker’s lid off and starting to draw. A weird feeling overcomes him with the marker and black coffee smell, making him wrinkle his nose.

Many people get triggered at the memory of school days, then there is him, thinking of the days he vandalized the classroom’s desks with ⋆☆ 𝐿𝑜𝓊𝒾𝓈 𝒟𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔☆⋆ , while his teacher sipped on her early morning coffee.

She would roll her eyes at the loud voices of her students going off about their weekends, and Louis wouldn’t feel like joining them because he was tired and moody after his siblings wouldn’t go to bed the night before. It isn’t the most emotive memory but as he draws the shape of a pair of eyes, he feels at ease like he did back then.

He wants to laugh at the poor attempt to portray Harry’s eyes, the lines miss the spark and need his precious emerald green, so he draws his eyebags and lashes. Drinking his coffee when he thinks adding another detail would just ruin it.

The murmur of people talking makes him feel lonely, so the omega focuses on the drawn eyes and the cheering song playing, the trumpets, and drums that tell the tune of his heart to **_read the room._ ** Because this wasn’t a place for his kind of sadness.

When another waiter passes with a tray of cake slices, Louis sucks his stomach in, chest rising and back straightening up. _He shouldn’t_ , the voice of reason whispers, _that much sugar can be good,_ his conscious tries again.

Still, the omega rises to his feet and walks in the direction of the cake stand, biting his lip guiltily at the red velvet slice. What Louis didn’t expect when his mouth opened to call the worker behind the counter, was to hear his voice.

Harry’s.

He barely moves eight steps forward before the sight of the Alpha laughing comes into view. The smile overtakes his features, curving them in a way that makes something in Louis’ flip like a dolphin peeking out of water. He is wearing a formal brown suit, but the three top buttons of the white shirt are open, letting everyone see his hard chest. 

His big hand is clapping against his thigh as he laughs and Louis wants to call his name, even with the risk of never seeing those dimples again when he does. 

The omega turns to his right to look at the counter, realizing his mind just compared Harry to the chocolate slice of cake. 

“Louis?” blue alarmed eyes meet the green his drawing on the table missed. Louis doesn’t know what possessed him to move in the direction where his name was called so willingly.

Harry smiles at him when he is at arm’s distance from the table, the omega finally noticing the other person sitting with the alpha.

“Hi, Harry” Louis holds his hands together, trying to prevent them from revealing his nervousness. “How is my baby?”

“Baby?!” the other omega on the table shrieks, dumbfounded. 

“Oh yes, Sammy! My son” Harry hurries to explain, the panicked expression on the Alpha’s face tells Louis the obvious. He interrupted a lunch date. 

“My pup, you mean” the omega covers his mouth, stifling a small laugh.

“You two have a child!?” Louis winces at that, incredibly surprised by the harsh reaction; she is already standing up when Harry dares to open his mouth. 

Louis shrinks under the alpha’s sudden glare. 

“We don’t, I swear it, Erica, he- no, I asked him out on a date, and he rejected me.” 

“I didn’t reject you!” Louis says loudly, cheeks heating up at the abrupt silence in the building, people pausing their conversation to pry on his. “I wanted to-”

Nothing comes out. 

The omega knows every cell in his body is doing everything to get the alpha to give him the attention he craves. And he regrets it all when he doesn’t get it. Louis didn’t mean to let go of his hand, except, maybe he did because he wanted to reach for the Alpha. 

“I am sorry” he renounces with a shaky voice. Louis doesn’t run, ambling until he reaches the table, briefly glancing at the almost empty cup while he leaves the bills under the tray. 

Moments later. He is in the parking lot: resting his forehead on the car window and gripping the door handle as he tries to even his breath. The omega remembers then he was supposed to stop, to not drive. Painfully aware he is in a much worse state than before. 

“Louis” 

_Please don’t call my name;_ Louis wishes upon the heavens. 

The omega turns around with a frantic beating heart, upset tears falling at the sight of the Alpha’s defeated expression. 

_“She was nice, I even planned to share a pretzel with her.”_

“Then go, share a pretzel, I don’t care.”

“It looks like you do, darling.”

“Don’t...I don’t care.” 

“Good” the harsh tone almost makes the omega pout. “Because it wouldn’t make sense for you to do so, since it was you who didn’t call.”

“Doesn’t matter now, you already have someone. Go share your pretzel Styles, leave me alone.” Louis looks away, the reflection of himself on the window but it’s just a shadow. 

“You-” the alpha reaches for his elbow, confused when the omega recoils at his touch. “What is your problem?”

“I am touch starved” he says after a minute of silence. 

The confession leaves his red bitten lips, the courage behind the words allows him to look at the Alpha, who is wearing that frown Louis wants to desperately smooth with his finger. 

“Last time you, you touched me and imprinted on me. I had to wait a week for it to wear off, so it was me who called you.”

“Louis-”

“I didn’t mean to reject you; I just wanted you to know that.”

“I’m sorry…” the omega steps back from the approaching body he wishes he could lose himself into. 

“It just, it wasn’t nice seeing you have a plan B.”

“Don’t be unfair omega” Louis shivers at the deep voice closing in, backing him against the car door. The space between their bodies narrows. “How was I supposed to know you’d call? You were so quiet and shy, okay, now I know why. But back then I took a leap of faith that day. How was I to know you didn’t toss away my phone number?”

The mint scent dampens over the smaller man who tries to keep his frantic hands from touching. 

“Moved on pretty quick after that leap of faith.” the 32-year-old points out in the most petulant tone possible, with a petal pouty mouth and fawn-like eyelashes.

“Because not even in my wildest dreams I thought I had a chance with you” their eyes meet, and Louis doesn’t care for the closeness anymore, allowing himself to touch the firm chest. 

“Harry, I…” he blushes under the wild and fixed gaze. 

“In my wildest dreams I am the one drawing your eyes on tables” the alpha seems lost on him, cradling his heated cheeks as delicately as possible with rough hands. 

“Don’t say things you don’t mean, don’t be mean alpha.” 

The green eyes widen at the words and the vulnerable voice uttering them, the Alpha knows the omega in front of him is two years older than him, still, he can’t get over how young he looks. Harry knows the time has passed by, but there is something eternally youthful about this beauty he holds.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asks, rubbing away the fugitive tear staining the soft cheek. 

“She is inside, waiting for you, please don’t tempt me with what I can’t have.”

“She left, I apologized. You can have me, Louis.”

“You mean it?” Louis asks, dumbstruck at how fast this man was to give up a good chance at something, for him. Gasping at the nod that answers him. “Would you walk with me?” 

The omega breaths in his scent, letting it fill his lungs, pink ribbons embracing the needy corners of his mind. 

“Where to?”

“Anywhere, just not home”

“Okay” 

And before the omega can process the simple answer, the man is slightly pulling back and offering a hand he gladly takes. 

A comfortable silence settles in while they walk down a boulevard, crossing the unfamiliar streets. Harry walks in first the jammed sidewalks, making a path for him to move through which Louis deeply appreciates. 

Hands become sweaty a little too soon. None of them lets go. A couple of times the man stops abruptly, seeming to navigate the streets with so much urgency he almost collides with someone else. 

Louis giggles when he ends up pressed against the tall man’s back, the cologne smell of tobacco and vanilla making his head a little fuzzy. 

“There” The alpha points to the little hill with stone slides, handrails, and swings. 

“Am I holding a 5-year-old hand?” questions with incredulity, trying to mask the little smile winning over his cheekbones.

“Still younger than you” Harry replies with a cheeky grin.

“What?” the omega’s shock is so evident the younger man laughs. “How old are you?”

“I’ll tell you if you reach that swing before me” Louis hates himself for staring lustily at the rings covered hand instead of the location. 

“What if you win?” his face heating because of the arched eyebrow the Alpha gives him. 

“You’ll buy me a pretzel.”

The omega doesn’t lose a second more, screaming **_Deal_ ** as he runs for the hill, giggling madly at the alpha failing to rush the stairs because of the restricting pants. 

Young, Louis thinks, he feels young when he runs in exchange for a number, long skirt floating easily with the movement of his knees. The layer of sweat making the blue sweater stick to his skin. 

He approaches the swing, dragging the vans against the soil, loving how the wind carries the brown dust away. Louis takes a sit at the goal, on the red metal swing, gripping the chains and waiting for the alpha with a warm belly sensation.

From here, the view is tinted with the pink light of the sunset, a rapid thought crosses his mind, and he remembers feeling young, thinking back to the times where it was only his mom and him, how she climbed every structure on the playground and felt the world was his. 

For a split second, he feels young again and it scares him as much as it excites him. _It shouldn’t take a cute alpha to make him feel good._ He rationalizes. 

But this time, the warm feeling lingers and flips around just when Harry walks up to him, wearing that careless smirk. Louis knows the last time he felt this lightweight.

He hates the way Demian’s name plagues his mind and loves how Harry just sits in the other swing next to him, stretching his long and thick legs, before saying:

“Thirty”

“Mm”

“Is that all?” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll still buy you a pretzel” the omega promises easily. 

A sudden need to touch the cinnamon color beard overcomes Louis, yet sooner than later Harry’s hand is on his, pushing the swing from the side. 

Delighted by the wind cooling his skin and drying the sweat, he continues to oscillate, relishing in the sound of his companion following his cue. The metal screeches from time to time, and the omega knows the alpha would still be able to hear his heart racing. 

Louis’ mouth dries at the clingy feeling that makes him call out this beautiful stranger’s name. 

“Thank you” he whispers to the man in the slowing swing.

“Sam asked for you, I think he picked on your scent in my clothes from that day at the supermarket, he threw a tantrum because he thinks I am hiding you from him.”

“Oh?” 

“He was cold and couldn’t sleep, but every time I tried to put a blanket on him. He’ll cry.”

“Poor baby”

“I know, it’s been hard on my…” 

“I meant Sammy, not you.” The Alpha chuckles at the light push on his side, shoulders shrugging in fake innocence.

A couple of seconds later, Louis has twirled around on the swing, screwing it and then letting go of the floor to spin, covering his mouth when a little laugh escapes him.

There is a long pause before Harry speaks again, too endeared by the omega’s playfulness. When the red swing stops moving, he dares to grab the star’s ankle and bring both to his lap. 

“You have very dainty ankles” he observes, circling them with his hands, eyes roaming up the knee-length skirt cascading by the omega’s thighs, aware of the shift in the air and incredibly proud of the blush on the delicate creature.

“It has been hard” Harry grants him his attention, confused by the root of the sentence. “It must have been really hard, to be by yourself with them only.”

“My sister helps, sometimes.”

“Still, it must be so hard some days, more than others. And somehow you do it anyway, you have continued to raise two beautiful and good pups who love you very much.”

“Yeah, it’s been hard.”

“Are you proud?”

“Of them? Yes, yes” Louis shakes his head. 

“Of yourself” the sad smile they share don’t reach none of their eyes, nevertheless; they continue holding each other. “I think you should.”

“Are you? Proud of yourself?” 

This time they share a loud laugh after Louis long silent answer. 

“When Tara left, Sam was barely two months. I went to the grocery store, and when I came back, I found Adeline trying to calm his brother as she cried too.”

“Harry, you don’t have to…”

“Sam wouldn’t eat, you know. My mate left, but I didn’t care, all I cared about was that she left our children. Sam started losing weight when he was supposed to gain it, and Addy started having panic attacks. I believed I could fix everything on my own for a very long time, and it costed my children. When I finally got help, I was advised about many things. In Sam’s case, I had to create a maternal association for him. 

I thought I was doing well, no biggie, Alphas bonded with their pups all time. So, I watched my favorite films with him on my chest, for days and months on end as I tried to feed him. Played the movie’s soundtracks to him, showed him your face a couple of times. I didn’t think he’ll make that association with you instead of me.”

Louis dares to touch the man’s cheek, caressing it softly, never mind the distance and uncomfortable position. 

“It wasn’t a fanboy stunt; it was my child choosing you when I needed to take care of him. I know it seems silly to have carried on with it once he was out of the woods. But then, it just was easier, for him to see a picture of you and say mom than keeping Tara’s face around the house, reminding them and me that she left.”

“It isn't silly. You say you didn’t care, but you did, yet you just chose to put them first like any good parent would do” He lets the alpha’s impulsive hands bring him from the swing to his lap with swift movements, allowing the arms to envelop him in a warm and needy embrace. “You did good, Alpha, you did.”

“I didn’t mean to; I wanted you to know that. It just kind of happened.”

“I am glad it did” Louis soothes, laying his head on the alpha’s shoulder tracing lines from one back to his neck. 

“Too much for the first date, huh?”

“It’s okay, I can still buy you a pretzel and ask your favorite color, what you work at, and all those silly things.”

“I’ll give you a bite” Harry laughs at the omega’s body tensing up on his arms. “From the pretzel! It’s our first date omega, I am not asking for that until the third one.”

“What a gentleman, Mr. Styles”

“C’mon, let’s go buy my pretzel” Harry says with his hands on the omega’s waist, smiling when he tries to put some distance and the creature only refuses, circles his shoulders again and hides his face in the space between.

“Just a few minutes please”

“Okay” the alpha palms the small back, closing his eyes and inhaling the sweet scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience, I swear I am not forgetting about this fic, but I had midterms, then I signed in for a fic fest which is due date is today and I just asked for an extension because my grandma has been at the hospital since Monday and hospital chairs are hell on my back. So it's been hard but I hope I can update soon. I want to kiss all of your bean's foreheads after all those kudos.
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments, I love reading you and I could use some distraction. 
> 
> TAKE CARE, K? I'LL READ YOU SOON, PINKY PROMISE. STAY SAFE.


	4. Magic Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FAKE PREGNANCIES, MEXICAN FOOD, SCREAMING LITTLE GIRL, AUNTIE IS TIRED.
> 
> Warning: lots of touching, bad flirting, no-funny jokes bc the author is a depressed Pisces, Harry eyes Louis foot in one scene. Characters eating bc the author is tired of people not eating in fics. Cheesy reference to one of my favorite songs by James Bay, show some respect. And some word vomit to compensate for my lack of a bigger vocabulary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi beans, I hope this chapter makes up for the long wait. I wanted to express how grateful I am for your comments in the last chapter. My grandma passed away in late November, so I had to take some time because the stress of uni finals & projects didn't allow me much time to grieve. So thank you for the patience and please know your good wishes meant a lot.
> 
> I hope my words reach you at a good time, I missed the holidays but I still wish for you to be safe and for this new year to be kinder to us all. 
> 
> You already know I am sorry for any of the grammar mistakes ahead, but remember this work is like the music video of The Man by Taylor Swift where she is the actor, producer, director, editor, etc. Well, here I am the writer, the beta, the critic, etc. SO, please be kind if you decide to point any mistakes?

As Louis stares at the cornflower floating in the brown water of his tea, he can’t help but dwell on the reminiscent feeling of being a recollection of blue petals too, in Harry’s company. Floating in his warm presence, drifting graciously in the easy flow of their conversation, and drowning a little in the sound of the man’s silly laugh. 

All the omega can do, staring at the tea in his hands, is want more. In the alpha’s presence, somehow, the hunger was dulled, the time ran by too fast for his liking, and  _ Oh _ does Louis wishes he could kiss the man’s cheek over and over. 

Harry Styles wore his wounds with pride, a hint of arrogance over his still scarring past, and the omega felt like a curious child. 

It hadn’t been like the alpha had undressed his soul for him, it’s not like Louis had spent years unable to see beyond the high walls of appearances either. Because he had, but there had been an orange light reflecting on the alpha eyes that day, creating tangerines that now bounce in his belly and made him giggle with ease. 

Like promised, Harry told him about the silly things, grabbing him by the cheek and whispering his favorite color with that raspy voice while staring deeply into Louis’ eyes. A silent, **_this blue precisely_ ** _ ,  _ that made the omega’s knees go weak.

Louis wonders, because sure he tries to see past the infatuation he has for the man; If Harry’s voice was that soothing or if it was just his deprived heart melting away, resembling a lighted candle.

He remembers thinking their talk seemed too smooth and genuine to not be a screenplay, and for some minutes he had to remind himself he no longer belonged to the world where even small talks were scripted. 

Louis just wanted more, more of the casual touches and not so casual ones too, more of the ones Harry meant. He laid in the big white sofa of his living room, changing positions, and biting his lip while he held the house phone close to his chest. 

It shouldn’t be this easy,  _ it can’t be! _ another side of his judgment screamed, so he swung in the uncertainty with the fear rolling in his insides. Louis turned and shuffled around, overwhelmed with guilt and the self-consciousness for his past, paralyzed in a way he doesn’t think Harry could understand.

_ Call me, _ Harry said after opening the door to the cab. Maybe it was too soon for Louis to expect the alpha to bring his expectations to the table, yet he found himself biting his finger nervously, unsure if knowing the alpha’s intentions could help at all. 

Because what if Harry wanted more than what Louis could give him? He didn’t want the alpha to regret him, he didn’t want to hurt Adeline nor Samuel, he didn’t want to look at the ghost of another mating scar the laser couldn’t erase. Louis doesn’t know if he could survive that.

Worst of all, what if Harry didn’t want more, more than just a night. The omega wasn’t scared of commitment, he just wasn’t scarring the way everyone seemed to. He was still wounded, hurting, and bleeding all over his future. 

Devotion, despair, fear. Louis was used to faking it all. He became a master of his emotions, keeping them inside a box, using what he needed before shoving it back. If the directors wanted more passion, chemistry, or emotion, the omega would give it to them, one way or another. 

Now, after Demian and the witch hunt he orchestrated, costing Louis what at the moment felt like everything, it was as if the box’s lock had been shattered to pieces. The pandora box he once mastered, and to which he now was just a prisoner.

His tear-filled eyes turn to look at the teacup on the table, directing all the resentment he felt for the world and his own inability to cope with it, wishing he could just throw the object, let it spill everywhere, break the shelves where all the award trophies stood taller than him. 

Yet, he sits there, judging the primitive and petulant thoughts the same way his past therapist did. Blaming the unbalanced and needy demands of his body. The beverage sits there, cold, and so does he. 

Call me, Harry’s phantom words play loudly, and he looks down at his grip on the phone. There wasn’t a ‘please’ or an ‘I’ll be here if you need me’ the alpha didn’t even bring up Louis’ confession of being touch starved. It was a simple  **_Call Me_ ** with that smirk and half a dimple.

So when the echo of the sea waves rumbling mixes with Harry’s voice in his head, the omega finds himself taking a sudden breath before dialing the number he learned after staring at the paper the whole day. 

A greedy portion of himself just wants to hear the alpha’s voice, that’s why he becomes disappointed when another voice is the one to answer the call. 

“Hi? Um, is this Harry’s phone?” he stands up on the couch, pacing from armrest to armrest, lip trapped under anxious teeth. 

“Yes, this is Mr. Styles’ phone, he is in a meeting right now. He usually leaves his personal phone here; I can pass the message if you want to leave one?”

“Oh” he lingers in the silence for a couple of seconds. “Mm, could you please tell him that Louis called?” he whispers, gut filled with dissatisfaction at the sound of the woman scribbling down on paper. 

“Sorry sir, I didn’t catch your last name.”

“Oh yes, Louis Darling” the omega looks around the house as if expecting something in the nothingness to react.

“Very well, I’ll pass the message, don’t worry.”

“Thank you” the line dies. Louis stands there, listening to the beeps match his heartbeat. The ball was on Harry’s court. 

He jumps down from the couch, taking the cold cup of tea and running to the microwave to reheat it. Barefoot and pant-less, he roams through the kitchen looking for something to occupy his teeth with. Munching on the last slice of pizza in the cardboard box, too impatient to warm it up. 

After spending what feels like hours staring at the phone, he moves through the house with busy cheeks and sipping on sugarless tea, he shakes his head at his own antics; at how nervous he was about calling, and now, he just had to wait. 

The omega takes the phone with him, trapping the device in the elastic band of his purple knickers, deciding he wasn’t taking any chances on missing the alpha’s call. 

By the time he reaches one of the bedrooms on the third floor, the pizza is devoured by the juices of his intestines, and he is now roaming with curiosity through boxes from where handmade gowns and suits peak, calling out to him with those regal colors designers used to dress him up with. 

**_Keep them_ ** , they all said like he wanted to. And Louis wonders why he did. As he scammers through the contents of the box, he is met with the iridescent gold fabric of the first dress he ever wore. 

It lays there resembling a crumbled piece of paper that once made him feel like the goddesses in those Greek novels he used to love reading back in high school. 

When reaching for the fabric, Louis remembers shaking in the limousine, and with a light smile, he recalls the uproar; the cameras flashing, microphones asking for who was he wearing, the suited smiles calling him a dream.

Louis knew pretty, he knew beautiful, yet he never felt neither, nor did it mattered, because he lived in a world where he wasn’t supposed to feel pretty as long as he was. That night though, Louis knew magic. 

He is somehow grateful the memories from that night are plagued with pride and pleasure. No amount of knocks on the door and slut-shaming from his manager took the powerful feeling away from when he threw the golden statues at him.

Later, Louis’ silhouette would appear on the papers along with his managers’ fake bruises and made-up stories about how the famous star slept around with multiple Alphas and beat up his manager with one of his awards. 

It didn’t matter how soon it was proved to be make-up nor did anyone care about the leaked security footage of the beta cornering Louis in the hotel hallway. 

The omega still had to deal with the jokes and the comments. No one cared he had won that award; all they cared about was him throwing his trophy at the feet of the man who screamed Louis owned everything to him. 

Back then, his naïve self was too proud of his success and blinded by false loyalty to notice he was turning the wrong heads. He was about to become prey, and the bullets wouldn’t ricochet with the golden cage’s bars next time. 

Still, he holds the wrinkled dress close to his chest, holding into the reminiscent magic lingering in the seams of the garment. He doesn’t remember much of the film or his co-star’s name, much of his career now felt like a blur, but he clearly remembers wearing this dress when he won his first Oscar.

They could take it all. Louis still had this dress in which he took that suited Alpha back to his hotel room and had him moan the same name engraved on the award his manager took. 

Louis undresses then, putting on the garment that slides with far more ease than before. He walks up to the mirror in the corner and meets his reflection with a newfound grace. 

There isn’t a voice telling him the burning truth but a crippling realization that gets him in tears in a matter of seconds. 

They took nothing. 

His name was still in the stars of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, it was his name the one still being written in magazines and papers even after years of his retirement. It was his face and his voice that people recognized, it was that cursed name he once held with pride that did it all.

The omega breaths in, smiling at the mirror image, the golden beauty of that night is a mold he can no longer fill. Now, it feels like a big and framed painting hanging in a wall way too small. Still, he stares at the neckline falling by the ribcage, revealing. 

He caresses the skin, frowning at the dryness and patting against the prominent bones as if asking them to  **_hold on a second._ ** Louis rises, coming back to the room immediately after remembering the phone he left behind. 

When the phone’s ring comes minutes later, the omega almost lets the device sink in the toilet in his hurry to pick it up. 

The bathroom light casts a warm tone over his now moisturized skin, and by the time he presses the button to answer the call, he meets his own eyes in the bathroom mirror, cheeks heating up from his embarrassment.

“Hello?!” the eagerness escapes him. 

“Hi, Darling” 

**_It’s not fair,_ ** Louis is trying really hard to prevent himself from swooning. 

“Hello, Mr. Styles” he dares to say before leaving the room and sitting on the big empty bed, trying to distract himself by arranging the white sheets and beige cushions. “Thank you for returning my call”

“Sorry that I couldn’t answer before, I can’t believe I spent every minute waiting for your call just to miss it.” Harry laughs

“It’s alright, they told me you had a meeting?”

“Yes! Imagine my surprise when I come back to the office to find out that no other, but Louis Darling called.”

“Was it confusing? I don’t usually go…”

“By that name? I know, I know I won’t help my case by saying this but knowing your full name, is like the bare minimum of my duty as a fan of yours” Louis giggles, he keeps forgetting this is the same Alpha who has an altar for him at home.

“Yet here I am, only knowing your favorite color is blue and how much you like pretzels” Louis answers, wondering if Harry was smiling just as much.

“Mm, is that the reason for your call then? To persuade me into giving you more?” 

“Would that be okay? I know you must be busy” 

“Today!”

“Today? Harry I don’t want to trouble you, it doesn’t have to be this sudden”

“Are you busy today?”

“No, but you said weekdays are hard because of work and the kids…”

“Darling” Louis felt his heart stop, he knew it was his last name but he couldn’t help his heartbeat from rising every time Harry used it. 

“Yes?”

“I want to see you, today. Please.” 

The omega feels his whole body become warm, ecstatic rushing through every nerve. The whimper that comes out of his lips only earns a growl in response, shocking his body and turning him into a little ball of neediness. 

“Omega” the raspy voice makes Louis’ blood vibrate. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to-, it doesn’t have to be today if-”

“I would love to see you Harry” the relieved exhale in the other end of the lines leaves the omega tingling all over. “I need-”

Louis doesn’t say it, and something about the Alpha’s humming tells him he doesn’t have to. 

“Where are you now?” the omega listens to the low tone asking, rolling in the sheets to hide from all the hard feelings. 

“At my house, I was going through some boxes and found one of my favorite red-carpet dresses.”

“Really? Which one is it?” Louis frowns a little at the alpha’s curiosity. “My favorite one is the wine-red velvet dress you used for the Revolver premiere.”

“It’s not, sorry to disappoint you, Alpha.” 

“Are you wearing it now?”

“Yeah…it’s kind of made of magic.”

“How come?” The omega wishes he could stop going soft at the way Harry treats him, with that careful manner in his words and wonder in his questions. 

“It’s the first dress I wore, it’s a simple silk and iridescent white dress with a layer of gold fabric on top.”

“And that makes it magic?” Louis giggles at the alpha’s confusion.

“No, I-, I don’t know. I used to think men wearing dresses wasn’t a big deal, you know? even less in a city where everyone seemed so open. And the day I wore it, a lot of the things I thought I understood from the world crashed down? but I stood there, with pride, and a kind of bliss over the world opening up to me.” 

“It does sound like magic, baby.” 

“Right?! I just thought that maybe wearing it would bring something back…” Louis pouts unconsciously, picking at a loose thread.

“Has it not?” 

“Not as much as I wished for.” 

The omega tries to stifle a yawn, realizing how sleep deprived he is when he can’t keep his eyes open. Louis then has the brief desire to cut open the mattress to hide inside of it with the sound of Harry’s breathing.

“Alpha?” 

“Would you wear it for me tonight?” 

“Are you taking me somewhere fancy?” If Louis also plots on how to record the man’s laugh no one has to know. 

“Do you want me to?”

“Nuh-uh, but I don’t want to look ridiculous if we are just getting burgers.”

“You could never, baby” the omega startles at the nickname, just noticing the alpha using it.

“Are you that eager to see me in a dress?” 

Louis knows he would wear fancy dresses every day if Harry asked him to. 

“I am far more eager to see you without it, but yes.”

“Mr. Styles!” 

They are both laughing and  _ oh _ how much does Louis wish he could be there to see Harry’s dimples. 

“Have some decency when talking to the mother of your children.” The omega tries to scold and fails by giving in to the alpha’s snickering.

Some seconds pass before the laughter finally dies down yet none of the pair has stopped smiling.

“Is it a yes for tonight then, Darling?”

“Yes, Harry” 

[…]

Louis remembers this, not as a déjà vu nor a personal memory; he recalls filming a similar scene, one where the Alpha shows up at the door wearing his finest suit and holding a bouquet of roses out to the omega. It creates a longing lump in his throat.

He is a breath away from ruining the mascara he so carefully applied. 

It feels like one of those prom night scenes he acted on, like those nights he never got to experience with being a high school dropout. Louis now wishes he could take the roses in Harry’s hand and make himself a corsage, one to wear for the night as he slow dances in the man’s grip. 

Harry is there, leaning against a grey Alfa Romeo and looking his way, wearing a black suit and a white shirt with golden embroidered swirls. The omega is so overwhelmed he can’t say a word without his attention diverting to every other part of the tall man. 

He is merely three meters away yet the burnt tones of his cologne blend perfectly with his natural scent, tempting Louis to move and press against the Alpha’s chest. 

“Darling” the green of his eyes is lost to the shadows as he steps closer and closer, driving the omega mad with those dimples. “You look gorgeous.”

_ Like a dream, _ Louis thinks, this must be one of his silly and teenager dreams because there is no way this is real. He feels himself blush, driving his own hand up to cover the blooming and nervous giggle when a firm hold takes said hand in captivity.

Soon, the suited man is pressing his pink lips against the omega’s fingers, making him laugh, freely, when the beard softly scratches the skin. Starting a story by silencing the hurt. 

“Thank you, Alpha” Louis rises on his tiptoes then, heels making him lose balance and push against the man’s chest, his kiss landing by the alpha’s mole, too close to the lips. “Uh- I, I like your shirt” 

“Good to see you, Darling. Should we go?” 

They do. At first, Louis had to momentarily grip his thigh because of the intense smell inside the car, but as Harry drove them down the hills with the night sky and the city lights in the back, he focuses on the alpha and without warming the overwhelming scent becomes soothing.

The red traffic lights cast over the smiles they wear while bickering and joking about where the Alpha could be taking Louis, the omega playfully mentions chaotic scenarios even if deep down he knows Harry could take him to a dumpster and he wouldn’t care, much. 

To the omega’s surprise, they reach a restaurant of Mexican Food. 

Harry is walking out of the car before anything can be said, offering his arm for Louis to take after he opens the door. He chuckles at the omega’s shock, promising the food is worth it and they’ll look ridiculous together in their fancy clothes.

The omega is not so sure any food is worth it, there is a reason why he has been living on delivery food. And just as he thought, they are turning heads as soon as they walk through the doors. 

Louis is overwhelmed immediately by the few stares, but he soon becomes distracted by the delicious smell making his stomach growl. Harry turns to look at him and the smaller man would blush if he wasn’t a little suspicious about the sudden smirk on his companion’s face. 

“Oh! Don’t worry darling, we will get food for you and the baby, pretty soon” Louis is shaking his head in disbelief at the cheeky smile the alpha gives him while reaching for his belly and tracing circles on it. 

The omega doesn’t push him away though, a little too fond of Harry’s touch.

Seconds later, a lady with a colorful apron is escorting them to a table, questioning their clothes with a “Were you at a wedding or something?”

“Would you believe I am a runaway groom, and my darling here barged in before I could say my vows with the news of his pregnancy?” 

“Harry!” Louis slaps the tall man’s arm, unable to contain the giggles blooming out of his chest.

“He is really pretty, huh” the lady says, eying the omega and now making him blush. 

“It’s the pregnancy glow” Harry adds, way too smitten. 

“Well, you still should put some food on him! He is too small, and pups consume so much. Have you been experiencing nausea, love?” 

“A little…” the omega pouts, he hasn’t acted in a long time and can’t believe this is the situation leading him to do so now. The lady coos, setting the menus on the table. 

She leaves and comes back with their drinks, cooing some more when Harry takes his wallet out and shows her pictures of Adeline and Samuel. The cheeky alpha even has the nerve to look affronted when she dares to tell Louis she hopes the next baby looks more like him. 

“I can’t believe you” the omega says, with a big smile while sipping the tamarind water, he is still annoyed he can’t order a beer or tequila because  _ pregnant omegas shouldn’t drink alcohol. “You own me a drink”  _

“Whatever my darling wants” the cocky expression stays put as he drinks from his beer.

“Is that so?” Louis asks. “Would you take me dancing then if I asked?”

“Mm, fancy going ballroom dancing?”

“I might” there is a flirty tone in his soft voice that has the Alpha straightening up in his seat. “Have you been here before?”

Harry stares with hunger at those collarbones begging to be kissed and bitten, at those blue gems eyeing the place and those red lips soon to be ruined by the order of tacos. 

“I worked with the owners of the franchise, they started with the business and were struggling when I met them. I usually take the kids to their main location, but I thought you might want some privacy, last time I saw you I didn’t know about the incident at the dinner.”

“I do appreciate it” there isn’t much room for Louis to avoid the look Harry gives him, and when the alpha offers his hand to him, for a couple of seconds he hesitates about taking it. 

It feels like more, and Louis bites his lip because the offer for a touch shouldn’t feel like an immense decision, but it is, even after all the touches they shared before. The omega feels like crying and smiling the moment he touches Harry’s fingers, tracing them until he reaches the man’s ring in one of them. 

The alpha doesn’t close the hand, nor does he try to touch Louis back, he just lets him, looking at him when the omega finally grasps his whole hand around Harry’s index. 

“I am sorry omega, please know if I ever reach and you don’t want to, you can tell me no.”

Louis feels his face heat up, the words sound too intimate for a place like this, so he just holds into the finger and nods. 

The scene they’ve created doesn’t help calm the squealing waiter who arrives at their table, too distracted by the scene she almost drops the food trays on them. But as they munch on their food; lips turning red, laughing at the other’s panting after a way too spicy sauce, Louis is so glad he called. 

“It wasn’t that bad; we were both alphas in our twenties and second year of law school. My family never approved of us, so when I gave them the news of Addy’s arrival, I wasn’t surprised my sister was the only one by my side.” 

The pair are walking down the street at a slow pace, Louis hand gripping the alpha’s finger while the other hand secures the big suit coat the man lent to him now hanging from his shoulders. If he keeps ogling the way Harry’s muscles stretch the shirt’s sleeves and plots on never returning the coat, well no one needs to know. 

“I’m glad you had her; I can’t imagine how hard it could have been without your sister.” 

“It’s still hard, she and Addy fight all the time but yeah, I’m grateful too.”

“They do? Why?”

“Well, Gemma wasn’t mindful and badmouthed Tara a lot after she left, and Addy didn’t like it, she thought Tara was coming back and I-, I didn’t know how to tell her she wouldn’t because I also hoped she would. Eventually, I had to move on from expecting things from her.”

“Guess your mom is still your mom even if she hurts you” Louis shrugs, feeling for the Alpha pup.

“I don’t know. I don’t think Tara is a bad person, she is an excellent lawyer but maybe she didn’t want to be a mother.”

“She still left her children, I-i don’t think I could ever understand what you do. It doesn’t matter when they leave you, it hurts forever knowing they did, even if you grow up successful and have a family of your own…it always hurts.”

There is something very telling of the way Louis stops on his tracks, unable to move, face morphed by despair, and Harry,  _ Oh the dear alpha _ is there a few steps ahead, looking back at him as if trying to decipher Louis’ ghosts. 

This time he is holding into the omega’s hand, their hold lingering in the street’s air, in the space between they’ve created or always existed, who knows.

“I know it does” Harry utters, not moving an inch. “But there’s only so much we can allow pain to paralyze before it consumes us completely.”

It is at this moment Louis has to remember Harry has not only lost his children’s mom, but he also lost his lover, the one he thought was his partner. Just like he did. Tara stabbed Harry and their children in the back the same way Demian and his mom did to him. 

Staring at Harry’s vibrant and sharp eyes now feels like meeting the eyes of a castaway like himself. 

It never was a competition for Louis; it wasn’t like he didn’t trust people who hadn’t suffered or went through shit. It just seemed like whenever he tried to communicate people couldn’t understand the language he spoke, so he gave up trying to. 

And right now, with this man who treated him like he was brand new despite seemingly understanding how broken he was; every word, every hesitance, every silence. It scared the hell out of him just as it made him want to bury himself inside the alpha’s chest. 

“Harry, I-i, I wish…” his lips tremble, words stuck, how insane to find someone who understands your language only to go speechless.

His free hand grips the golden dress,  _ I wish I had more to give you,  _ he looks at the sky, but no star nor angel aids his tied tongue. People all around leave as soon as they come, but the constellations in Harry’s eyes stay on him. 

“We’ll be alright” something folds at Harry’s words. There is an uncertainty to them, tainted with a kind of hope the omega doesn’t want to fight; so, Louis closes the self-made space and hugs the man’s waist.

The alpha’s arms circle his head with care, submerging his mind into warm water, covering his eyes from the lights and the faces. 

“I got you.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-, you have to take care of Addy, be the best for her, she needs you” his voice breaks, and Harry’s arms seem to melt farther around him. 

“I know, I am here, for her and for you too if you want to” the omega whimpers, a little sob escapes him but when he dares to part from the alpha he comes back again. “Didn’t mean to make you sad, darling.”

“I’m not…” 

The man chuckles at Louis’ attempt for a braver face, cradling his right cheek in his hand, smiling at the way this beauty follows his touch. 

“Maybe the universe wanted it this way.”

“Are you implying the universe made a spot for me by leaving your children motherless?”

“I thought they were our children, or so you said the other day in front of my coworker?” now that makes Louis push the alpha who is bending over, hand slapping his thigh and stomach hurting from how much he is trying to contain his laughter. 

“Is this your way of asking me for a support check?” 

“Okay, okay, maybe the universe wanted me in marketing and finances for a good reason.”

  
“How did we go from a part-time mechanic to a director of a financial advisory company?” the omega can’t help but frown a little, bursting into giggles seconds later. “Did you ever go to work with dirty oil on your shirt? Were you scolded by your boss?”

“Ha-ha, no, never. I always changed into proper clothes.” 

“Did ya’ mean a brown suit with a grandma vest underneath?!” the alpha gasps, suddenly stopping and answering Louis’ question with the fake outraged look in his eyes.

“Well, my style still earns me free coffee and, a yes to every lunch date.” 

Louis doesn’t know what comes over him, all he knows is they suddenly went from talking about Harry’s ex to the man’s office clothes, and now, the omega is there, closing the distance again by leaning in with his tallest tiptoes. 

“Yeah? Have the quickies on top of the printer been enough for you Mr. Styles?” the smaller one asks, lips barely reaching the alpha’s shoulder, enjoying the sudden spike in pheromones.

“Omega” Louis tries to step back so he can see Harry’s face when two warm hands grab him by the waist, keeping him in place. “Don’t play me.”

“Not what I asked, Alpha” he says with a playful tone, forced to stare at the man’s neck and not complaining about the burning scent he gets to inhale thanks to it. 

The sound of the streets gets drowned by the ragged breathing he is focusing on. Louis can’t help but wonder if Harry would kiss him tonight, or if he wants to do more than that and this is him trying to control himself. 

The omega feels fizzy and just wants to stay there forever. So of course, he whines and is incredibly upset when one of the hands leaves his waist only to force his chin up, taking away the warm touch and the mouthwatering scent from him. 

“Thought you wanted me to say they haven’t been enough, are you still with me, Darling?”

“Huh?” Louis nods, mouth parting and closing when Harry’s hand moves from his chin to cradle the bony cheeks again.

“The quickies on the printer haven’t been enough, love” there is a defeated expression encasing the green eyes that has the hazy omega debating if he should kiss the alpha’s nose or finally ask him what he expects out of this. 

“Knew it” Harry’s chuckle brings him back, but he doesn’t move, too comfortable and afraid of losing him. “Now take me dancing, please.”

Louis didn’t understand why he wanted Harry to take him dancing, maybe it was the unconscious part of himself who still wanted this date to be like a prom night. Or maybe he just wanted another excuse to be close. 

All he knows Harry knows his way around and has them swinging their feet around to classics like Mambo No. 5 in no time. 

They are sweaty, moves slowing down after some time, some of the people around are dressed up and Louis tries to remember if it is Halloween night or some holiday night.

The omega also gets Harry to buy him his drink. They share a few others and worry too late about tomorrow. Alphas tend to be more resistant to alcohol, so Louis is not surprised that after 3 shots and 2 drinks, his companion still manages to catch him time after time when he is about to trip.

When the crowd grows and the DJ starts casting fluorescent lights over the dancefloor, the omega fails in trying to hide his schoolgirl giddiness over the chance to slow dance in this bizarre version of a prom night of his.

Harry pulls him close, admits he doesn’t know the song and Louis tells him he doesn’t know it either as they sway and spin in that tiny space the world has for them. They don’t say much, they let the music fill in the silence and just hold one another. 

Four songs later, Louis mutters a Thank You against Harry’s shoulder, he is not sure he was heard until some seconds after the alpha is leaving a kiss on the omega’s forehead. He responds by hiding his face against the hard chest, the red lipstick he re-applied in the restroom is now tainting the neck of the white shirt. 

By the time they walk out of the building, most of the stores have shut down for the night and the traffic has eased up. They are slowly making their way to the alpha’s car when Louis feels something vibrate in the pocket of Harry’s coat. 

“Alpha, I think someone’s calling you.” he offers the device to the man. 

Harry frowns as he swipes the screen to answer, they stop walking and Louis is momentarily concerned by the way the man’s hold on his hand tightens. 

“Adds, what? Okay, okay calm down, yes, yes, he is with me. Gemma did what?! Oh, oh, alright. Addy, it’s okay, we can fix it. No, don’t cry baby, I’ll come home right now, okay? Yes, I’ll take him with me, no, you didn’t ruin anything Addy, you understand? Daddy will be with you in 5 minutes, be good for me and wait, okay? love you too.”

Louis has never been more confused in his whole life, well maybe the drinks are making him a little dramatic but the resigned sigh coming from Harry still tugs at his heartstrings. 

“Harry, what happened?”

“I am sorry, I know how bad this looks but I need to go home right now, I promise I’ll take you to yours once I make sure everyone is safe, I just-, shit, I am so sorry.”

The omega can sense the distress, from the pacing to the scent, he goes and lays what he hopes is a calming touch on Harry’s shoulder and is met with a crestfallen alpha. Louis understands it then, Adeline’s distressed call triggers Harry, reminds him of the time he wasn’t there, and his pup needed him.

“Let’s go, c’mon.” 

[…]

The night wind dances all through the city, from the empty alleys to the suburbs they just drove by. They had barely parked in front of the one-story house when they heard the screaming inside. The alpha, even in his agitated state, opened the car door for him, offering his hand and leading him to the house’s entrance. 

Louis’ attention diverts to the big and bare front yard, the light breeze lifting the skirt of his dress tells him it must be late August or bare September. 

He winces at the volume and hostility he perceives the closer they get to the house, shaking his head when Harry whispers an apology before stepping inside. 

“Daddy!” 

The omega stands by the door, smiling when the 9-year-old jumps into his father’s arms, mumbling against the alpha’s neck how mean her Aunt is. Harry continues to hold her, trying to calm her down.

He moves to the couch in the open living room and sits on the sofa after none of his attempts seem to work. Both alphas seem so worked up that Louis dares to take a step in, wanting to reach in and comfort, yet cautious about upsetting anyone since he is entering unknown territory. 

He has barely taken five steps before Harry’s sister appears by the kitchen doorway; she seems upset too, and just as tired. Her amber eyes glance briefly at Louis, who is just noticing the intense burning smell in the house.

“It was an accident” she explains but neither Harry nor Adeline acknowledges her. “I am sorry, okay, but I had a rough week and was just taking a nap, fuck! It was a mistake, okay? I don’t get why are you acting like I did it on purpose?”

Louis unconsciously reaches for Gemma too, gaining her attention. She turns and frowns at him, taking steps back as to put some distance between them. Omegas are biologically wired to dissipate conflict, (there is a reason why they tend to have more empathy and better communication skills), so they can all sue him later for trying. 

“We were okay! Did you seriously trust me so little you couldn’t take your new fling home first?” 

“You go home!” Adeline screams, face red and disheveled hair, scent reeking of resentment.

“Addy?” Louis calls her, softening when the angry expression fades and eyes begin to water after meeting his. 

The omega decides to walk up to the father and daughter, kneeling before them, noticing how tense the older man’s shoulders are, jaw tight too. 

“I know you’re upset but what if I make you some tea while your dad runs to the store to buy new ingredients so we can fix this?” 

“What about her?” the young alpha asks, perched on his father’s lap, reaching without a doubt for the kneeling omega’s offering hand. 

“Well, it’s not safe to drive when you haven’t had enough rest, so maybe we can let her spend the night? I understand what happened, but even if you are upset you want everyone to be safe, don’t you alpha?” Louis bites the smile rising in his lips at the pup’s eager nods. 

He rises to his feet, waiting for the pup who stands up and turns to look for his father’s approval. Once is given, she leaps for the omega’s hand again, leading him towards the kitchen.

The omega listens carefully to Adeline’s directions on where everything is around the kitchen, he also pretends not to hear what Harry and Gemma are loudly arguing outside. 

He questions Adeline about what the cupcakes are for, lets her rant over what happened, and promises they will fix it. Louis also walks to the burnt and smeared traits by the sink, acting a little pretentious for the young alpha’s amusement, and says “Oh, I promise I would make you better cupcakes.” 

She sits on the kitchen countertop, sipping the chamomile tea with her head turned to the side as Louis braids her hair.

“How do you know how to make braids?” she questions, observing with her big father’s eyes how he wraps the tie around the braid’s end. 

“I have two sisters and two brothers.” 

“Woah! I would trade Sam for a sister.”

“Hey, that is mean, don’t say that.”

“You never wanted to trade your sisters?!”

“Fair enough Alpha” 

After some minutes, Adeline leaves to use the restroom and Louis hears the front door opening, he guesses is Gemma by the heavy sighs, and yet again decides to ignore the boundaries by rushing to the living room with another cup of warm tea. 

“Don’t” she tries to be firm but only sounds exhausted to the omega. 

“I made you a cup, it might help you sleep?” he says, sitting on the sofa before her. 

“I don’t need-” she starts with a harsh tone that would definitely make Louis flinch if it wasn’t for the fact she is still hiding her face. “I just need her to know it was an honest mistake, I-I haven’t been getting enough sleep because of a project at the company and when Harry called, he was so excited to go out with you I couldn’t say no.”

“It’s okay, I believe you” his words fall to deaf ears as she continues to rant, Louis doesn’t blame her though. 

“I know she doesn’t like me, and it hurts knowing she thinks I would be cruel enough to do this on purpose. And my brother, god I’ve never seen him like this since Tara, please know I didn’t mean to ruin your date.”

The alpha looks up to him, heavy with guilt and exhaustion, hand tentative reaching for the cup of tea. 

“I know, Harry has told me how you have always been there for him.”

“God, is that what he talks about during dates? Explains why he is still single even with that face.”

“It is a pretty face” Louis admits, eyes wrinkling when Gemma almost chokes on his tea. “Too bold?”

She nods. 

“Does he know about your project? I am sure he’ll understand of you being tired if…”

“Nah, we don’t have much time to talk lately” she says between yawns. “I used to be her favorite person, you know? She even told everyone she wanted to be an architect like me.” 

“Well, maybe you two can patch things up with some ice cream. Right now, I think you just need to sleep.” 

The omega notices a thick knitted blanket draped on the sofa’s armrest, and reaches for it, encouraging the alpha to lay down by taking the blanket’s ends. 

Her half-closed eyes watch him with suspicion as she lies down, fulminating him while he tucks her in, checking for any spots the cold might creep in. Louis can still feel her amber eyes on him when he leaves the room. 

“Hey” the omega says when he notices Adeline sitting on the kitchen floor with a regretful expression. “Addy?” the girl hugs her knees together, shrugging. “Can I sit with you?” she nods. 

Louis wants to giggle at this petulant alpha who reminds him so much of his younger sisters. 

“Does something hurt?” he whispers, remembering now there is a toddler in this house and becoming surprised Samuel hasn’t wake up even after all the chaos. 

“I’m bad” she says, raising her head to show Louis her pouty mouth.

“How come, love?” 

“I was mean to auntie and ruined daddy’s night” the young alpha frowns, cheeks pink and avoiding the omega’s stare, embarrassed. 

“But you didn’t ruin no one’s night, your dad understands. And I am sure your aunt will understand if you apologize tomorrow-” Louis stops when Addy shakes his head, her hands fidgeting. “No?”

“I was bad…I wanted daddy to come home.”

“You didn’t want him to go out with me?” the omega asks, calmly as possible but worried out of his mind underneath. 

“No, no, I wanted him to go with you… but I wanted him to come back when the cupcakes burned.”

“Did you not trust your aunt to fix them?” 

“I-If…if Daddy doesn’t come home and auntie leaves, I am home alone with Sammy”

“And you don’t like being home by yourself” he says, chest shrinking at the slow nodding of her head.

“I am an alpha” her crystal eyes break, tears drowning the under corners that spill all over her yellow shirt. “I have to be brave like daddy, but I can’t” she whimpers, throwing herself at Louis and muffling her cries against his stomach. 

The omega trembles, her bawling is so familiar his hands shake too as he reaches back, petting her head as she dampens the fabric with tears. 

After a while, when only sniffs can be heard, Louis tries to take the coat off so he can give it to her, hoping her father’s scent will calm her. Instead, the young alpha takes the opportunity to scurry his arms under the coat, hugging Louis’ middle. 

She perches herself against the omega’s chest, with her little ear against his heart. When Louis closes Harry’s suit coat around them, she whines with content. 

“Addy?” 

“Mmhm…” 

“Did you remember what I told you the day I met you and Sammy?” he questions. The omega wants to laugh at this family of cuddly alphas.

“It was nice meeting you?” she tries, giggling when Louis tickles her. “I don’t know…” 

“I know you do, alpha, you are so smart” the alpha laughs and shifts around some more, and it is then Louis notices how the 9-year-old is looking for his scent just like Sammy did that day in the parking lot.

“I told you I was strong, and you said being strong doesn’t mean I don’t need help” her voice is low, and Louis shakes his head at the shameful tint in her scent, dropping a kiss to her forehead just the way Harry did to him. 

He hopes the action is familiar and bites his lip when her heated cheeks press harder against his chest. 

“You were making cupcakes to help your friend, and you help your father with looking after your brother-”

“I help daddy clean house too.” 

“And you help clean too, precious” her arms hug him tighter. “You help everyone so much, why don’t let them help you too?”

“It’s embarrassing. I-it is, no one cries… alphas are not supposed to cry”

“Who says that Addy? Doesn’t your dad cry? And your brother?” 

“They do” she answers, trying to subtly scent mark him too. “Mom didn’t…”

“Well, maybe she was a tough cookie but I’m sure she cried at least once, everyone does. We cry when we are born, and we cry when someone leaves. When watching movies, at weddings, when we miss someone. When our hearts hurt and when our hearts rejoice. And there is nothing embarrassing about it, love.” 

Louis coos at the simple nod he receives, blushing a bit when Adeline rubs his face against his collarbones and cries softly: “I don’t want to make Daddy sad.”

“Shh, you won’t Addy, he will be grateful to know you trust him” the man promises. 

“You look very pretty, Lou” Adeline mumbles as she dozes off in the omega’s arms. “Did Daddy tell you; you look pretty?”

“He did, we had a lovely dinner then he took me dancing” he tries not to sound dreamy and head over heels about this girl’s dad, and seemingly fails when Adeline laughs at him.

“Did he kiss you?” Louis refrains from answering after the sound of the front door opening reaches him. 

A moment later, Harry walks into the kitchen with eight bags in his hands, turning to them and wearing a frown that soon turns into a smirk. “Getting comfortable there, Ads?” the alpha teases his pup who soon grows flustered. 

“I was just entertaining the guest” she explains nonchalantly, making both adults laugh. “Daddy!” 

The tall man rolls his eyes, walking up to the pair and picking his little girl up, placing her on the counter before he turns to help the omega on the floor stand too.

“Thank you” Louis says, confused when the alpha ceases any movements.

“Harry?”

“Darling…you smell”

“Oh, I didn’t know I was so sweaty and dir-” the omega doesn’t get to finish the sentence before the alpha’s arms swap him off his feet a little bit, hugging him. 

Harry’s nose is pressed against his neck making his body flush, muscles tightening too. 

“Thank you” Harry rubs his face in Louis’ neck too, his words sealed with a peck under his ear.

When the alpha lets go, the smaller man stays there in shock, watching Harry walk away and still feeling him everywhere around himself.

“I’m sorry Daddy” the alpha nods before kissing Adeline’s forehead.

“Thank you, Ads, but I think we both own apologies to your aunt” 

The three of them peek into the living room at the snoring bundle under the fluffy blanket. 

“We’ll apologize in the morning, okay? We’ll do better.”

“But, I ruined your date...”

“It’s okay, I’ll ask for another one!”

“And I’ll accept” Louis blurts out, cheekily smiling at the gob-smacked expression on Harry, who didn’t seem to expect an answer, nevertheless such a clear, direct, and quick one. 

“Ew, Dad you are drooling!” Addy shrieks, moving from her place on the counter to help the omega take things out of the bags.

“Ads, you are tired, you can go to sleep, we will take care of the cupcakes.”

“No, I have to take special care of them this time”

“I will take special care of that one” Harry points to Louis playfully.

“Dad! Oh my god, you are so embarrassing!” Adeline looks from his dad to the giggling omega. “Don’t encourage him, Lou! He will get worse.”

“Ads, go to your room.”

“No! You’ll continue and burn my cupcakes again.”

“No, we won’t” the older alpha says as he picks down the girl from the counter.

“Dad! I need you to be serious about this.”

“Gosh, go to your room already” the omega swears Harry is pushing his daughter into the hallway. 

“Louis, please promise me!”

“I promise Addy, good night!” Louis smiles, head shaking at the family’s silly antics. 

He hears a door opening and murmurs, and suddenly there is an empty and dreadful feeling in his arms, he wants to hug the little alpha goodnight but has to remember it’s not his place, not before nor now. 

“So, I got another date?” Harry asks when he comes back, the cocky smile doesn’t go unnoticed by Louis. 

The alpha proceeds to take bowls, spoons, and the mixer out of the cabinets now that everything is out of the bags due to the omega’s restlessness.

“I would worry you might be running out of chances, Mr. Styles” 

The bag of flour slops all over the counter when the alpha suddenly presses Louis against it, cornering him with his whole body and caging him with his arms. 

Dark eyes harmonize with loose curls and pink lips that make the omega close his knees together. The unbuttoned shirt reveals a couple of black inked tattoos making Louis feel naked. 

“I don’t know, Darling” Harry’s hand caresses the heated skin of his bony shoulder. “I have the feeling you’ll give me as many as I want to.” 

Louis is seconds from baring his neck, screw any rules and courting periods, it’s too late for him anyway. No kiss will prevent anything, no kiss will bring back what they’ve lost, but he thinks, a kiss will surely make everything better right now. 

“I don’t have many more to give, I don’t-”

“Would you still give them to me?” the alpha cradles his cheek again with those raised eyebrows and intoxicating scent, expectant. 

“Harry…I-, we have 100 cupcakes to make.”

“Hey” Louis’ eyes find Harry tenderly staring back at him, “It’s okay” he says, locking the distance with a forehead kiss that has the omega leaning in his weight, wishing the alpha’s lips would stay there. “Thank you, for tonight and everything.” 

The smaller one swoons over his raspy and gentle tone, speechless again, he is reminded of those hours dancing, bodies so close to one another Louis almost wanted to laugh at his starved soul. 

“Let’s get to work?” the alpha asks in a wary tone, and Louis knows this is Harry asking if he would stay or if he would like to go home. Louis answers him by nodding and moving to pick up the bag of flour, succeeding in pouring the contents in one of the bowls.

The next hours are spent working on the cupcakes, a little messing around with the baking powder and the flour when Louis takes his heels off and the alpha won’t stop making jokes about his height. 

The omega also throws some cupcake liners at Harry when his mischievous eyes try to catch a glimpse of his feet under the long dress’ skirt.

“Alpha…” a hesitant voice calls with their elbows on the counter.

Harry stops pouring the mix in the cups when he catches a glimpse of the omega; Louis is sitting in front of him, hands holding his face in a cherub-like manner, unaware of how one of the dress’ straps has rolled down his shoulder, and with a natural baked blush accompanied by dots of flour still on his cheeks.

“Yes?”

“How come you never ask about my past?” the alpha puts down the bag of mix, still in awe of the creature before his eyes. “You-, you don’t ask about Demian or anyone, you don’t ask about my…about the touch starvation.”

“Do you want me to ask about them? I am sorry if I’ve been neglectful-”

“No! no, it’s just-t, I know you were my fan and heard things about me… I guess it worries me you might believe what has been said, and I don’t want it to affect whatever this is.” 

The alpha listens carefully from the fearful tone to the anxious words, shocked by how someone like Louis, can still feel cursed by his past and be scared at every new step. 

“I am not walking into  _ this  _ with any false ideas Louis, I know you are not the same person I’ve read on magazines and blogs about 15 years ago, nor do I assume you ever were. Do I have expectations about us? Yes, I do, but I think they are the same expectations any other person with the chance of knowing you would have.”

“I-it’s just you, you shared with me so much about Tara, and your work and the kids, I just feel like I am turning in empty-handed.” 

Harry is a taken aback when the omega’s voice breaks, sob muffled by tiny hands. He circles the table faster than he should have, almost slamming into the teary-eyed man who seems to shy away from the world yet never from him.

The pungent border to his scent a clear warning: “Louis?” 

“’M sorry-I, you don’t need more baggage.” 

“Shh, you are not. Darling, hey, hey listen to me” the omega bites his lips when big hands hold him by the cheeks, rough fingers caressing his cheekbones. 

Louis nods, helplessly. 

“Me talking about my ex or my family is not me expecting you to do the same. It’s me sharing what I, now after many years of effort and therapy, feel comfortable sharing. This is me trying to show you what you are getting yourself into, I suppose? Also, Tara leaving me, my family cropping me out of the pictures and two kids driving me out of my mind it’s not everything there is to me.”

“Alpha” the omega whimpers, trying to hide his face in Harry’s chest.

“Just as there is much more to you than them” the man finally gives in, letting the smaller one find whatever comfort he can get. Harry just holds him close, listening to his cries vibrate against his chest. “It doesn’t matter if I’ve known you for 3 day or 15 years, I know you are the kind of person a lion would allow to braid its mane.”

“Did you just call Addy a beast?” he asks in time, with his sad eyes closed and half a smile. 

“She can be” Harry answers, still tracing soft lines in the omega’s back. 

It’s not until half-past 4 a.m. when they put the last trays in the oven, both sitting down on the floor with mugs of tea in their hands, hip to hip, and with their backs on the kitchen aisle. 

80 decorated cupcakes are already packed in colorful plastic containers. 

They talk in whispers, biting on their laughs as Harry tells the omega how much of a heavy sleeper Sammy is, holding hands when Louis becomes upset talking about how touch-starvation has made him susceptible. 

The alpha also shares how many therapists he went through before he found someone who worked for him. How insomnia affected him, how it started to mess up with his work since he was always irritated and snapped when coworkers touched him, even if it was by accident. 

The omega listens, tells him how much he wishes to reach a version of himself that could talk about everything the way Harry does. And the man shakes his head, explains it’s not instant, nor linear, and more importantly, not the same for everybody.

When those conversations become too difficult, Louis, the forever curious child he’s always been, just asks about other things, relishing in the fact Harry doesn’t deny him once. 

Maybe it’s not as funny as the high of the drinks they shared in the club make it out to be, but the omega loves hearing the alpha’s deep voice tripping over random and senseless stories. 

Louis appreciates the attention most of all. 

He even shares how he used to get in trouble for sneaking into his mom’s room, going through her drawers, and messing things up: “I used to steal her necklaces, wear them to school and somehow they would always break, earning me a scold and a punishment.” 

Louis shudders when Harry’s fingers brush with care the place where his neck and collarbones met, just where his mom’s cheap jewelry would rest.

“Mmm, I stole my mom’s heels once, ruined them according to her. I never knew how. She still grounded me even before grounding could be effective.”

“Awww” the alpha’s dimple makes an appearance when Louis coos at him. “That explains the heels in your shoes and boots then.” 

Harry’s face furrows as he chuckles, turning to hide his laugh in the bony shoulder close by, meanwhile, the omega sips the last of his tea. 

“Is there anything you would like to do now? Like go back to UNI and finish your law degree?”

“I don’t know. Do you?” the alpha asks, smiling down at the little finger tracing the lines on his hand. “You already did so much” he says at Louis’ silence.

“Doesn’t feel like it most days”

“Did you always wanted to be an actor?” is the first and more personal question Harry has made.

“Don’t think I did. I remember I wanted to be a gardener when I was six, I used to believe there was nothing better than having a shop where I could sell flowers and other plants that made people happy.”

“I want to buy a house in a land somewhere with a rose garden, that’s what you said once in an interview...”

“Fast forward, I am still missing the Rose garden” Harry watches how the smile doesn’t reach the omega’s eyes.

“Roses, how cliche” 

“Harry” the alpha wants to kiss the frown on Louis’ face. “You bought me roses tonight.”

“Wanted to make you happy” Harry shrugs, nonchalantly. 

“You did. Sap” the swift movement of omega’s nose doesn’t go unnoticed by the alpha. “My best friend smells like roses”

“Does she now? So, you pick your friends by smell, like a perfume at the store?” 

“Mm, my lovers too” Louis replies, rolling his eyes at the sight of that cocky smirk. 

It’s 5 a.m when the last set of cupcakes are done and Harry reaches to turn off the oven, careful of not waking up the omega who fell asleep with his head against his shoulder. 

The alpha relishes in the quiet for a couple of minutes before swiftly turning his body and picking up Louis in his arms. He tries to not think of this as some sort of epiphany as he carries the omega, still on his magic dress, down the hallway to his room, passing the ajar doors to his children’s.

Harry should not think  **_this is where he belongs_ ** as he lays down the body in his bed. He knows Gemma is right, he shouldn’t be getting his hopes up, he shouldn’t be bringing someone home this soon. Yet the mere possibility of Louis being the first thing he sees every morning and the last thing every night, has him forgetting everything he should not.

The blue morning light resembles a presage Harry tries not to dream about while he covers the omega with the blankets. He walks out of the room once he realizes how creepy he must seem, doing his best to ignore the bloom of comfort in his chest, a kind of peace so foreign it scares him at first.

Inevitably, the alpha ends messing up some of the cupcake’s decorations, mind going to the motion capture of Louis comforting Adeline in the kitchen, both pup and omega wrapped in his coat. 

After finishing the 100 cupcakes and cleaning the kitchen, Harry turns down the lights, walking to the living room where some rays of sunshine start filtering through. He lays on the other couch before his snoring sister, unbothered because he has a piece of clothing that smells like home to cuddle up to. 

[…]

  
  


Tired blue eyes open with alarm, scanning through the room at the reason for his awakening and frowning when they are met with nothing, silence. 

The man yawns, then stretches his little legs while caressing the soft brown sheets, slowly becoming aware of his whereabouts. Gasping in shock when he does. He lays down again, wide-eyed for some seconds before he turns to his right side.

Louis cautiously presses his face to the pillow next to him, breathing in the heavy scent of Harry. And he whines, rolling around the bed because is not fair how good it is. 

He shamelessly turns himself into a human burrito with the covers, relishing in the way the sun filters through the window and warms his feet.

_ The bed is so big, and comfy, and homey and fit for two.  _ The omega thinks,  _ maybe if he pretended to be asleep he could have some more minutes? _

And that is when Louis turns to the nightstand on the left where a retro clock of red numbers tells him it’s 8:48 a.m., besides it, there is a cupcake with a note that reads: **_“Dropping Addy at school, be back soon”_**

Louis doesn’t take it in his hands, he just stares at the scribbled words, wondering how nice it would be to wake up to notes saying _ I love you, or I made you breakfast,  _ he’ll save them all, even if they said Harry would be late for dinner. 

The omega hides in the middle of the bed from his own embarrassment, guessing it can’t hurt since the alpha doesn’t seem to be home yet. After a while, he just takes his chance and continues to rest on what feels like a cloud. 

He is dozing off when a loud thump outside the bedroom reaches his ears, his mind immediately recognizes it as the sound that woke him up the first time. Louis isn’t sure what it is since it doesn’t seem to be consistent enough to pinpoint. He thinks of the possibility of being Gemma but it doesn’t make any sense how quiet it is again. 

At last, Louis is overcome by the sweet comfort of the bed and turns his back to the door, cuddling with Harry’s pillow. He becomes drowsy with contentment, giving up to the fatigue. 

Merely 10 minutes have passed by when the bedroom door opens and restless tugging to the covers have the omega waking up and turning to the corner of the bed to see a pair of tiny hands fisting the sheets to try and climb the bed.

“Sammy?” 

“Mommy! Mommy help! Help me!” the toddler wails and has Louis pulling himself from under the covers in seconds, worried by how upset he sounds.

The omega crawls until he reaches the end of the bed, extending his arms out to the toddler who has ceased with his angry whimpers and is now staring at Louis with those Christmas lights eyes.

“Mommy? Mommy! Mam-m, you are home!” the excited babbling has Louis’ heart melting as he picks the boy up in his ducks’ pajamas. 

“Hi, Sammy uff-” the omega says, hugging the little boy back. “Morning duck, did Daddy forget you?”

The little boy nods with a way too happy pout, “Daddy silly”

“Mm, he probably thought you’ll be sleeping” Louis answers, biting his lip when Samuel sits on his lap and rests against his chest.

“I smell Mommy” Samuel confesses, “Hand hurts but it doesn’t hurt Mommy” the toddler proceeds to show Louis the reddish palm of his hand.

“Oh, Sammy, did you fell from your crib?” when Samuel nods the omega can’t help but coo at him. “What if I kiss it better and then! we wait together for Daddy to come back?”

“Please mamm-a”

_ A family of cuddly alphas,  _ Louis reaffirms. He lays 6 kisses on the boy’s hand, one for every finger and one for the palm, which has already healed but the omega thinks it’s very important to comfort this sweet pup. 

They crawl together to the top of the bed and lay down in the middle, face to face with one another. It isn’t like Louis doesn’t want to cuddle with Samuel, he just worries and figures it would be better to keep some distance to prevent imprinting on the littlest alpha of the Styles family, again.

“I still can’t believe you are 3 years old Sammy; you are so big.”

“I am alpha mommy” Samuel’s giggles interrupt the previous happy growls he let out at the omega caressing his head. 

Louis is still a little shocked over how younger Harry’s children are versus how older he thought they were. Maybe it had to do with how mature Adeline seemed the day he met her and how responsive Samuel was too. Or maybe it had to do with Harry’s ex and him producing big alpha babies. 

Still, Adeline was a fourth-grader and Samuel a 3-year-old, which meant the little alpha must have been 5- or 6-year-old when her mom left.

Louis thinks he understands her a bit better now, after all, he once was in Adeline’s shoes. Same age too. Feeling scared every time his mom would leave him alone at home to go to work, (she couldn’t bring him to work and they couldn’t afford a nanny).

It didn’t get any better when his mom started dating again, because instead of moving out of that horrid building complex, the guy just left his mom a couple of months later, pregnant. 

With two mouths to feed, his mom had to work double the shifts than before while Louis took care of Charlotte. 

A couple of years later Owen happened, Louis’ mom and he didn’t last much either, but he sent enough money to get by. Until he didn’t. 

Long story short, Owen remarried. He even offered to take the twins with him. Louis remembers thinking how unreasonable his mom was, how letting Owen take Erich and Hannah would solve many of their problems. 

Now he gets how clueless and stupid he was, now he was the son his mom gave up. 

Then there was Jonah, who was a male omega just like him and somehow reminded him of Samuel due to their affinity to scent Louis’ collarbones. Jonah’s father, a white-haired alpha who worked as a truck driver, and most importantly the last man his mom ever loved. 

The last man to remind her what love, real love and happiness were. After the accident on the highway, the recollection of his mother smiling or laughing is quite scant.

So, it goes without saying the omega ends up cuddling with Samuel, overwhelmed by how much of his siblings and mom he sees everywhere. 

He isn’t that surprised by his own reaction, since it tends to happen all the time when he goes out and sees tired moms or children fighting at the grocery stores.

It’s just that this time he gets to know these people, hug them close and maybe be there for them. 

He knows is too soon for wishful thinking. 

Louis also knows of the quiet part of himself who looks at the Styles family and can’t help but think of that other family. 

Not the one he had and lost, but the one he almost had and didn’t.

“Mommy no cry” Sammy says.

“Sorry, sorry” Louis wipes his teary eyes and 

“Sa’ make mommy sad?” 

“No, no love” he takes Samuel’s hands in his own, kissing them. “Are you hungry, baby?”

“Yes, but! but I wanna sleep with mommy, please.”

“Alright, alright love”

Louis stays with the pup until his breathing has evened out, waking up from the bed where the sleeping toddler holds into the pillow. Mindful of the noise, he tiptoes to the door and walks down the hallway in search of the bathroom. 

When he finds it, he rushes to the toilet, holding up his dress. He scams through the cute arrangement of sets of three toothbrushes, three towels robes, and three different bottles of shampoo.

The omega is a little surprised Samuel wasn’t scared by how the mascara had smudge under his eyes or his disheveled hair. Hands come up to wash and brush the messy leftovers of last night, halting once they try to decide between throwing away the new toothbrush he just stole from the cabinet or leave it amongst the rest.

“Mommeeeh-” Samuel cries, pushing the door ajar door open, and grabbing his leg. “Don’t leave me”

“I’m sorry baby, I had to…”

“Mommy wait!” the toddler says before releasing Louis’ leg, he runs behind the toilet and pulls out his training potty. “Wait Mama” he repeats when the omega turns around and tries opening the door to step out. “Me fast like flash” Louis stifles a laugh.

A while later, Louis enters the kitchen with the small alpha in his arms, hanging from his neck. The pantry’s doors are opened wide and there is a couple of glasses out on the table.

“Mommy cold?” Samuel asks after noticing the omega’s morning chills.

“A little, aren’t you cold Sammy?” 

“No” 

“Guess I’ll just have to hug you closer” Louis squeezes the toddler, laughing at the approving growls that soon turn into squeals. 

The omega walks up to the fridge, still carrying the child in his arms, and opens it to find the opposite of his fridge at home. There is so much food now he gets why these kids look too big for their age.

“Hungry?” the young alpha nods against Louis’ neck, teething along the exposed collarbones. “Ouch, hey mister I am not food”

“But mommy smells good” Samuel whimpers, upset over Louis putting distance between them.

“I’m still no food, baby”

“Okay” Louis kisses the small alpha’s frown away, erasing the discouraged expression.

“What do you want for breakfast? There is…a lot of veggies.”

“No veggies mommy: one time daddy gave me green juice and it was yucky, and later I pooped green.”

“Ohh, poor baby” this time the omega doesn’t smother his giggles, to endeared to not kiss the boy’s cheek. “What a cute lad”

Louis closes the fridge, walks out to the pantry, and suggests some cereal with fruit, scrambled eggs, jelly toast but nothing convinces the smallest Styles. “Sammich mama!”

“Sammy?” the omega frowns, listening to the child mumble as he scans through the fridge again. 

“Nooo” Samuel laughs. “Samdwich!” the man stares with confusion at the munching notion the toddler is making. “Samdwich Mommy” 

It isn’t until the alpha points with his little hand at the ham and laminated cheese and makes the motion of eating a sandwich that Louis finally gets it. 

“Ohhh, I thought you were saying your—, oh I am going to call you Sammich!”

“Sammich?”

“Well, you call me mom so it’s only fair I get to call you Sammich” Louis tells the boy with expectant green eyes. 

“Hungry Mommy” he claims with a toothy smile. 

When the house phone rings 20 minutes later, Louis groans in annoyance at having to stop enjoying his grilled cheese sandwich. Without a second thought, he picks up the phone, right hand holding out the half he is sharing with the toddler in ducks’ pajamas.

“Hello?” he chews a tiny bite and waves back at Samuel. 

“Louis? Hi, it’s Harry.”

“Are you aware you left a toddler at home with a stranger who could have left and leave him without supervision?” he questions in false annoyance.

“I can hear you munching down my food, and here I thought you’ll be grateful for allowing you to see your kid?”

“We were hungry, and it’s late” Louis shrugs. “Also, your house is damn cold.”

“I am sorry Louis, I took Addy to school then I thought I could just come to the office and sign some stuff they asked me and take the day off but instead there was a not-so-quick meeting, I really thought I will be back before you two woke up.”

“Mm, I’m still cold Mr. Styles. When are you coming back?”

Louis smiles at the sound of Harry’s laugh.

“I am just waiting for some papers, then I’ll be on my way”

“Promise?” the omega shudders, without Sammy he feels his fingers numbing around the sandwich, skin turning cold.

“Omega, I’m sure you still look lovely in your magic dress but there are clothes in my room you can grab, feel free to take anything, please. I’ll be home in less than an hour, is that okay? I can call a nanny-”

“No, no. I’ll wait for you, you promised to take me home.”

“I did and I will. Thank you, Darling. See you soon?” 

“See you soon, Alpha.” 

Louis lingers by the phone after hanging up, hugging himself up until a dizzy spell stops his tracks. He touches the wall, scared when his eyesight blacks out and come back sporadically. 

“Sammy?” there is a moment of panic when he regrets accepting to take care of the toddler, now worried he might endanger him.

Except as soon as the dizziness came; it disappears. 

Wide frightened eyes look around to find Samuel on the ground, standing up before him. “Mommy scared?” the alpha walks up to him, clearly sensing his fear and grabbing his hand.

“I, I’m sorry, love. Have you finished? We can maybe watch some cartoons.”

“You cold mommy” the omega bites his lip, not used to having people, especially not a 3-year-old, reading him this easily. 

The omega walks up to the kitchen aisle and leaves the remaining half of his sandwich, appetite lost. He still tries to sip some apple juice before turning to the little alpha and extending his hand.

Together they walk back to Harry’s room, where Louis tries to not feel so invasive when he opens the top drawers and pulls out the first pair of sweatpants he sees, then a simple shirt. If he purposefully picked the lilac soft sweater hidden in the back, no one has to know.

Louis takes the opportunity to put on the clothes when Samuel starts playing under the covers of his dad’s bed. Slow fingers tie multiple knots on the baggy black pants, pulling them up to his waist so he doesn’t trip over them. The shirt is so big Louis is tempted to hide his arms inside like he used to do in elementary school. 

When the sweater falls over his shoulder, he finally breaths with ease, all wrapped up in Harry’s scent.

“Mm, where did I leave my  _ samdwich _ ?” Louis taunts the toddler who has stopped moving under the covers. “Oh, no, I lost him! What am I going to tell his dad?!” he walks up to the loud giggles coming from the bed, sitting at the foot of it.

“Boo!” screams Samuel, throwing himself at the omega.

“There you are! Oh Sammich, thought I lost you!”

“Nooo, silly mommy” 

“Silly me” Louis agrees, smiling down at the alpha. 

[…]

It’s 4 minutes past midday when Harry walks past the front door of his house, guard low and non-prepared to meet the sight of Louis Tomlinson, the best actor Hollywood ever had, sleeping in the worn-out sofa of the messy living room along with his pup.

The tv still on in some cartoons channel when he steps further in, there are toys everywhere and the table is packed with crayon-made drawings. Still, the alpha can’t take his eyes off the beauty wearing his clothes and cuddling his son.

He stands there as quietly as possible, not wanting the peaceful sense of his darling to end. Savoring the non-haunted grace of the fragile man lying down, wearing the sweater he made for his wife, and Tara never wore. 

Taking off his coat Harry winces at his naiveness, he knew sleeping around with his coworkers wouldn’t be the same, yet he walked into this feeling bulletproof against the memories of her. 

He knows it’s okay to miss her, but the truth is he doesn’t, his alpha just stares at the picture before him and longs for it to be his forever. 

Louis Tomlinson rests in his sofa, wrapped in lilac yarn, looking like the antidote to the eternal hunger. Made of magic.

“Daddy?” Samuel’s voice interrupts his thoughts. 

Harry smiles at his pup who instead of reaching out for him, cuddles closer to the now awoken omega. “Had fun little man?”

“Mm, warm Daddy” the small alpha mutters, mouth opening over Louis’ collarbones. Harry’s eyes widen at the trail of teething marks.

“Samuel, what do you think you are doing?” the man picks up his son’s body from the omega’s arms. 

“Harry?” Louis asks, confused by the sudden change of tone in the alpha’s voice. 

“Daddy! No! Bad Daddy! Let-” Samuel starts to cry when his dad won’t let him return to the omega. 

“Samuel, you can’t bite Louis! We don’t bite.” 

“Harry it’s okay…he doesn’t mean to-” Louis hurries to say when the fat tears start rolling down Samuel’s cheeks.

“Hurt you? I know he doesn’t, but he knows he isn’t supposed to, don’t you?” Harry bounces the upset toddler on his arms, waiting for an answer. Samuel throws his arms out for Louis to reach back.

“Daddy! No, daddy stop!” 

Harry growls, shushing the screaming boy immediately.

“Samuel, do you or do you know we are not supposed to bite anyone?”

“Yessssss, Sammy knows, Daddy.” 

“Then why are you biting Louis, Sam?”

“So…so Mommy stays” the older alpha turns to look at the omega standing before him, surprised evident in his blue sleepy eyes.

“Harry, I-“ Louis stops when the man raises his hand to stop him.

“We don’t bite people, Sam. You know it, it hurts them. Do you want to hurt Louis?”

“No, Sammy don’t hurt mommy! Promise daddy, I-, Sammy don’t-“

“Louis, does it hurt when he bites you?” the omega looks up to meet Harry’s serious face, a little intimidated by the firmness of his words.

Louis can see the exact moment the alpha perceives the pheromones he is producing, telling the man how willing he is to bare his neck or get on his knees for him right now. 

“Omega” Harry calls him in a stern tone. 

“Sometimes…when he bites too hard” he answers softly, looking away from them as he anxiously plays with the sweater paws.

“I’m sorry Mommy” the pup apologizes, clueless to the tension between the adults.

“Good, now go put on your shoes, we are going to the park” Harry tells the little boy. 

Samuel squeals, running to his room as soon as he is on the ground, and singing loud enough for the whole house to hear his excitement. 

Meanwhile, Harry breaths in the sultry scent of the crestfallen and red-faced omega. He takes a few steps, noticing how the dainty man continues to avoid his eye. 

“Darling, look at me” the order earns the alpha a modest whimper in response. “I am not mad, omega.”

“I’m sorry, I- I don’t know what happened” Harry cradles the distressed expression, caressing the sunken cheeks and meeting the blue of his eyes.

“What happened is my pup tried to mark you, Omega. His alpha senses you out of the bond, so his possessive little mind rationalizes biting you even when he knows not to bite.”

“I thought it was normal, I’m sorry” Louis sighs, timidly trying to smile at the man still holding his face.

“It is a normal reaction… can’t say I haven’t been tempted to do the same.”

“Alpha” the omega whispers, tiptoeing closer to Harry.

“For the other reaction, I’m quite flattered darling” the smirk grows at the sight of the telltale blush on Louis’ face.

“Daddy! Sammy ready, park now!”

[…]

They are sitting on a park’s bench like an old married couple, except they aren’t married nor a couple and neither of them are staring at the view with thoughtful expressions. Instead, Louis is cross sited and laughing at the way Harry just got ice cream all over his face due to Samuel’s clumsiness. 

The little alpha ran off to play with other kids in the park, unaware he just smeared the ice cream he spent the past 10 minutes whining for all over his dad’s face.

“They’re gonna drive me crazy” Harry whines.

“They are a little wild” the omega comments, giggling at the groan the man leaves out. “It’s okay, here” 

Louis bends forward on his knees, using the napkin for his ice cream to clean up the vanilla dessert from the alpha’s mouth. Biting his lip when he catches a glimpse of the intense look coming his way. 

He turns back to his chocolate ice cream, conscious of how Harry continues to watch him, this time licking the treat in his hands. 

“Sammy seemed so shy when I met him, he is so good at making new friends though, look at him” the omega tries to deviate the attention from him to the toddler who seems to be very excited about the game about to start.

“He is good, a menace when he wants to be.”

The omega smiles at Harry’s words; the man is back to focusing on his kid while eating his ice cream. Obscenely opening his mouth to do so, Louis notes. 

After finishing their ice creams in silence, Harry knocks with the point of his boot on the side of the shoes currently protecting the dainty feet he saw yesterday under the golden dress. “Fit well, huh” he comments.

“Can’t believe you bought Adeline shoes this big.” 

“What? She is one size away; she will grow into them!”

“You are such a dad, Styles. Are yours one size bigger too so omegas wet themselves over your big dumb feet?!” Harry is tenderly looking at the sudden angry and fussy omega, smiling at the small hand reaching to poke his boot. 

The alpha has noticed how flustered Louis gets when Harry gets cocky, so it’s not his fault he pours a little gasoline into the fire by fixing a lock of hair behind his ear and whispers: “Are you wet now?”

“Arrogance doesn’t suit you, Alpha” he whines, huffing angrily as he pushes the man away. 

Harry chuckles, “Not everyone can be like you, darling” he starts pulling the sleeve of the lilac sweater until the omega is under his arm, little clothed legs are thrown over his lap. “Everything seems to suit you very well” 

“Don’t think flattery suits you either” the smaller man says, giggling when the alpha pinches his thigh and, secretly loving how it brings them closer. 

With his head resting on Harry’s chest, Louis closes his eyes; he listens to the kids squealing and chasing each other around the green field, he also trembles a bit under the cruel September wind, smiling when the alpha’s left arm squeezes him a little. 

They are not an old married couple sitting on a park bench, —but to anyone looking they might as well be on their way to be one.

[…]

It’s bittersweet, Louis thinks as he tries to gulp down the lump in his throat at the sight of Harry on his doorstep. 

It was just a night ago when the alpha stood there wearing his fanciest suit, his most charming smile for him and Louis only. Now there is no Alfa Romeo in his driveway but a Range Rover from where he can see Samuel sleeping on his car seat.

It was just some hours ago. And somehow it feels like a lifetime ago. Now, the alpha has a silent promise on those daydream eyes, one he seems too afraid to voice out.

“Harry, we don’t have to do this. We spent a good night, had a good time. I-it doesn’t have to mean anything.” Louis goes to say with confidence, but he falters, and trembles. He doesn’t know if he can mean nothing to someone again. 

“It doesn’t?” the man takes the next step, leaving two behind that has him meeting eye to eye with the omega. “It doesn’t or you don’t want to?” 

“Alpha” the name falls from his lips followed by a low whimper, soon bigger hands engulf his, centering him to this place where the sun shines but doesn’t warm the skin. “I want to-I”

“I am not afraid of us, Louis. I’ll start courting you tomorrow if you want me to. If it is too soon for you, if you are scared, if you are unsure, I’m willing to take our time because I want something. I want you.”

“Aren’t you scared? How can you be so sure of this? Of me?” Louis lets go of the hands holding his, turning to see the house’s windows he stares at every day while wishing he could just disappear. “I’m not at my best, Harry. And you have two kids who need you, you can do better than this, you deserve better than-”

“There isn’t better, darling. I promise you, there isn’t, it doesn’t get better than you. Just, give us a chance” the omega whines, suddenly aware of close their faces are, Harry’s scent and vanilla breath all over him. 

“I’m scared” he admits, giving in to the hold on his hips, sight clouding when he looks back at the alpha. 

“I know, I know” Harry whispers over his lips. “We don’t have to rush, just let me be here for you” 

“What if you regret it, regret me?”

“I won’t, darling, I couldn’t-”

“I’m sick Harry, you don’t know what it’s going to happen” Louis sobs, breathing harshly when the alpha grabs his face and forces their eyes to meet. 

“I know.” 

“Then how can you be asking for more?”

“I’ll come around, If you ever want to be in love” Harry tilts his head up, singing with a raspy voice the words to one of -Louis Tomlinson- known favorite songs. “I'm not waiting, but I'm willing if you call me up” 

He hums the beat, swinging them until he has Louis pressed to the front door. “If you ever want to be in love, I'll come around” the alpha smiles down at the mess he made of the omega. 

“Harry, I want t-, I want you too” a raw voice admits, baby tears still rolling down from red cheeks. “Can we…slow down? Sleep on our feelings a little. I’m scared”

“Then we slow down, darling. Shhh, it’s okay I got you” the alpha hums some more as he hugs the delicate body against his. “Just let me be here for you”

“I can’t promise-”

“No promises, just us. Let’s see where it takes us, okay?” Harry leans in to kiss the omega’s forehead, moving the caramel fringe so his lips can touch the skin.

“Okay” Louis nods softly before rising on his tiptoes to hug the man by the shoulders. He would love spending all day in the man’s arms, yet he can’t help nor silence the scary thoughts telling him this might be his last dose of comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you with all my mushroom heart, I still can't believe we are about to reach 200 kudos, thank you so much for the support. rainberryfae on twitter and tumblr in case you feel like screaming at me. Read you soon? 🦋


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